Roadies And Musicians Describe Crazy Backstage Experiences They've Had On The Road

Many crazy things happen on band tours. Both roadies and musicians experience insane backstage stories, and the tales they share on Reddit are sometimes eye-opening and sometimes downright revolting. Indeed, you haven't lived until you've gone on tour with a band that has an equal amount of fans and haters

Musicians really know how to have fun.

  • He Played The Keyboard Without Using His Hands

    From Redditor /u/thexzzisalive:

    I've seen a guy play keyboard with his [genitalia] and people LOVED it.

    I've seen someone use an angle grinder on a microphone.

    I've seen a band whose entire setup was a drum kit, old Halloween decorations, and a tape loop of spooky sound effects. It was awesome.

    I've seen several people get hit in the face with full beer cans.

    One of my good friends uses a hitachi wand as her main sound source.

    I've seen a juggalo scream into a feedbacking amplifier and fight people.

    I saw a band called Hitler earlier this year.

  • She Pooped In The Middle Of The Audience

    From Redditor /u/Pharoah-Sander

    Played a show at this dive bar one time in Virginia. A larger woman was standing in front of us the whole time. She was enjoying the music and having a good time, and it was nice to see someone of a different crowd getting into our music. Nearing the end of the show she turns towards the crowd, back facing us, pulls her pants down, and sh*ts right on the floor.

  • Henry Rollins Found Him On The Toilet

    From Redditor /u/impossible_planet

    [A friend] passed out in the toilet while taking a dump. Henry Rollins came along, pulled up his pants, picked him up and put him into bed. Unfortunately for my friend, he hadn't finished taking that dump...

  • A Man In A Wheelchair Started Dancing To A Stevie Wonder Cover

    From Redditor /u/RLLRRR

    I play in a cover band in downtown Las Vegas. It's not glamorous, but the pay is alright, and I get to play drums for money. The crazy things you see and hear downtown—especially on Fremont Street—make your day.

    While covering Stevie Wonder's "Superstition", an elderly... man in a wheel chair rolled up and started head-bobbing to the groove, only to immediately stand up and throw down some serious moves. We are certain we cured his paralysis with Stevie Wonder.

  • The Backstage Entertainment Got A Little Murky

    From a former Redditor:

    I was on the road with Nine Inch Nails back in the 1990's. This was in the era of excess, chaos, and destruction in their road career, before sobriety, Oscar™-winning film scores, and all that grown-up stuff. Marilyn Manson opened the show, then it was The Jim Rose Circus Sideshow, then NIN, so you can imagine the amount of excess and mayhem that was around. For those that don't know, the Jim Rose show involved stunts like Human Dartboard, stapling money to foreheads, a contortionist who could wriggle through an un-strung tennis racket, and Mr. Lift-O, who had lots of piercings and would lift heavy objects from them. Think cinder block from the nipples, suitcase from the Prince Albert, etc.

    Jim himself was a master of the lost art of convincing, so much so that he made me think that's where the term "con" originated... But there was this one time...

    The band is playing a show at some enormo-dome somewhere in middle America not anywhere near Texas... The band was friends with the guys in Pantera, who were fans of good ole' on-stage mayhem. Pantera had a day off on their tour, and they decided to make a way-too-long drive to come see NIN.

    [Jim Rose] says, "Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special presentation for you all. There is an arcane art, some say a lost art, that has sadly started to fade from our collective sexual memory, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is a d*mn shame. There are still some who practice this art, but few who can be considered true masters. What is this lost skill that is missing from the sexual vocabulary of today's promiscuous youth, you ask? Why, it is nothing less than the lost art of [butt eating]. Now, you may turn up your nose, and well you might, but this technique is one that can bring pleasure to both participants, provided it is done correctly. And tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we have one of the true masters, a gourmet of the gooch, a connoisseur of the can, if you will, a true artiste of the arse...please welcome your friend and mine, MISTER LIFT-O!"

    (Lift-o enters to thunderous applause, but says not a word.)

    "And his willing, nay, eager co-conspirator, hot groupie chick!"

    She puts her hands on the edge of a table, gets all tip-toe-ey... While Jim Rose goes on with his mile-a-minute patter, Mr. Lift-O, without a word, gets on his knees and... gets up in there. It looks like he's really going to town. She's squealing and giggling and obviously enjoying this. The crowd is too. After a minute or so, Lift-O begins to falter [and] hesitate... he's trying to pull away, but [the woman] reaches around and pulls his face back in there. Jim's patter changes:

    "Uh-oh, looks like Lift-O has hit an obstruction. Has he struck gold? Has he struck oil? Something worse? What did you have for dinner sweetie? You didn't eat dinner with the crew, did you? I hope you didn't eat the Tikka Masala from catering, I had that and it's still not sitting right..."

    All of a sudden, Lift-O can take no more. He wrenches away, jumps to his feet, staggers backwards, and whips around, spinning on his heels... spraying thin brown liquid from his mouth and hitting EVERYBODY that was clustered around to watch.

    I mean, he freaking sprayed the crowd. And a large, collective, "Awwwwwwwgggghhhh" goes up from all present...

    Of course, the dudes in Pantera and various other roughnecks in attendance are laughing, clapping, falling all over each other. It's a freaking hoot. But there's lots of glammed-up, gothed-up hot women there, and they are not too happy with getting "the brown stuff" in their bleached-out dreads or whatever. So they are all horrified and everybody tries to run for the door, but their path is blocked. Jim Rose is leaning with his back against the door... holding a large squeeze bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup.

    "Gotcha," is all he says.

    In a split second, all becomes clear. He arranged [the stunt] ahead of time with Mr. Lift-O, who would go through this whole scene holding a heaping mouthful of Hershey's chocolate sauce in preparation for the big spray-down. The [woman] was not, unfortunately for her, in on the joke until after the fact...

  • The Drummer Hooked Up With Someone In Front Of The Whole Band

    From Redditor /u/uberphaser

    In one of the bands I was in, the drummer was a straight up crazy person. He worked out like mad, and took some sort of supplement, so he looked like John Cena, but like 5'6". If you handed this dude fish paralyzers and told him it'd get him high, he'd swallow 'em and then go off to find some blow.

    Anyway, one night, he got a hold of some really REALLY good coke, and had us all back in his van blowing lines off his drum cases. We were all screaming crazy high, and the drummer decided he needed to come down, so he drinks what he calls "blackout juice"—jagermeister and Robitussin PM.

    We get through the third set, and the drummer is starting to slide off his stool in between songs, but damn if he isn't getting all the fills and accents right. I can barely remember the words to songs I wrote, and I've just got a snootful of sugar.

    Little did I know he had also taken a bunch of Viagra, because he "had plans to f*ck the club owner," an attractive 40-something.

    [They hooked up] alright. [It happened] in the wide-open green room visible to the 20 or so musician occupants and most of the rest of the club. Super f*cking awkward.