Relationships end. People change. But that’s in real life, not in the movies. As cliché as they can be, the best romantic comedies make viewers believe that everlasting love is real – at least until the credits roll. Unfortunately, there are a lot of couples in romantic comedies who wouldn't stay together if they existed in real life. Doomed rom-com relationships are built on tenuous ground; their films often feature gaping plot holes and awful behavior that's glossed over in the name of moving the plot along. If you want to make your romance work, take a look at these bad movie relationships and learn what not to do.
Horrible couples in movies don’t just populate the worst romantic comedies. Some of them appear in truly delightful films. It’s just that they act like monsters. They lie. They cheat. They refuse to be held accountable for their actions, and they learn nothing from their zany journeys. Don’t feel sad for these rom-com couples who probably broke up – it was for the best.
- Photo: Universal
Alison is an uptight, beautiful, driven woman, while Ben is a slovenly troll-person who barely works and smokes weed nonstop. There could not be two more different people. However, alcohol is the great equalizer, and the duo have a one-night stand that results in pregnancy. Alsion inexplicably decides to keep the baby and the two embark on a wildly contentious relationship.
These people are opposites, and not all opposites attract. If they stay together, Alison will murder Ben. Or she'll take away his weed, and he'll murder her. Of course, they'd break up long before it came to that because they truly hate each other - as is evident by their entire relationship - so there's just no way this would work. Frankly, the baby would be much better off if they were not together.26942Doomed to fail?
- Photo: New Line Cinema
If you've seen The Bachelor, then you've witnessed a truly horrific onscreen romance. The thrust of the film is that Jimmie needs to get married by 6:05 PM on his 30th birthday or he'll lose out on a $100 million fortune. That shouldn't be a big deal because he's been dating Anne for three years, but instead of sincerely proposing he does the whole thing as a goof, explaining the money situation. This understandably turns Anne off. What does Jimmie do? He asks all his ex-girlfriends if they want a piece of the action, and he's turned down by all of them but one, a woman who bails on Jimmie as soon as she realizes that they have to have kids and stay together for 10 years. Anne decides to give Jimmie another shot, and after some bride shenanigans the two are married.
There's no way these two are staying together. Once Anne finds out that she only has to stay in the marriage for 10 years before leaving with half of the fortune, she's going to to bide her time until she can do just that. And who could blame her? Jimmie is so disgusting and money hungry that he's willing to marry anyone who may have liked him at one point.633296Doomed to fail?
- Photo: Focus Features
Throughout That Awkward Moment, Jason pushes for his core group of bros to stay single. He takes part in casual sex wth swaths of women across New York City until he suddenly finds himself in a relationship with Ellie, an author. He keeps his relationship with Ellie a secret, and even goes so far as to skip her father's funeral lest it them look like they're in a monogamous relationship. After that horrible move, Jason manages to weasel his way back into Ellie's life via rom-com tactics.
The film essentially posits that only men are people, and that women solely exist to play into a man's whims. Of course Ellie goes back to Jason – how could she not? Ellie doesn't exist to Jason until he wants her to exist, and there's no way a relationship can thrive in those conditions.601307Doomed to fail?
- Photo: Columbia Pictures
Mary is a wedding planner who's putting together Fran Donolly and Steve Edison's big day. While this is going on, Steve and Mary meet by chance and begin courting one another, with Mary unaware Fran is marrying Steve as she's only worked directly with Fran. When Mary figures out what's going on, she gets mad at Steve, at which point he leaves his fiancee and the two end up together.
For most of the film, Steve seems more than ready to cheat on his fiancee. That should give Mary at least a little pause. He's done it once, who's to say he won't do it again? The guy cannot be trusted in a monogamous relationship. He's probably going to run off with the next girl he saves from a runaway dumpster.14794Doomed to fail?