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Holidays Santa Jokes  

Jack Napier
9.8k votes 1.5k voters 34.3k views

List Rules Vote up your favorite funny joke about Santa Claus

After spending years on the naughty list this is an attempt to finally hit back at that ancient snowy overlord the only way that exists, with a list of killer jokes about the fat man him self. Hope you’re ready for some hot fire Santa Claus. This year instead of cookies and milk, leave Sinterklaas your favorite jokes from our list of funny Santa one liners and show him who’s boss. If you’re afraid to end up on Santa’s naughty list, you can just enjoy this list of jokes about Santa in the privacy of your own holiday nook over a mug of eggnog. Santa Claus jokes!

If  forced to choose our favorite holiday sprite, I'd choose Krampus, the child eating, switch carrying Christmas demon from Scandinavia, he seems cool. Not like that bozo with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Even if I can’t get to Norway in time for Christmas, I'd like to get in the Krampus spirit by telling funny Santa jokes while sipping at a warm cup of apple cider. Being naughty never felt so good. After working on this list of funny jokes about Santa Claus, I think I've figured out how Father Christmas thinks. You can consider this our naughty list. After you check out this list of Santa jokes, try a few out at your next Christmas party and prepare to bring the guests to their knees…with laughter.

Vote on the funniest joke about Santa Claus and try one out at your next Christmas party. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest your mom jokes of all time.

1
595 209
Why Is Santa So Jolly? is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Is Santa So Jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. 

2
479 155
Why Is Christmas Like A Day At... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Is Christmas Like A Day At The Office? Because you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. 

3
453 192
Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids? is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids? He only comes once a year.

4
383 158
How Do You Know Santa Is A Man... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Santa Jokes
How Do You Know Santa Is A Man? No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.

5
362 163
What's The Difference Between ... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Santa Jokes
What's The Difference Between Tiger Woods And Santa? Santa stopped at three hoes.

6
295 147
What Do You Call People Who Ar... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

7
301 152
What Do You Call Santa When He... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call Santa When He Goes Down The Chimney When The Fire Is Lit? Crisp Kringle

8
278 138
Why Did Santa Send His Daughte... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Did Santa Send His Daughter To College? To keep her off the North Pole 

9
254 126
What Do The Female Reindeer Wh... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do The Female Reindeer When Santa Takes The Males Out For Xmas Eve? They go into town, and blow a few bucks. 

10
285 151
What Do You Call A Kid Who Doe... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call A Kid Who Doesn't Believe In Santa? A rebel without a claus. 

11
243 131
What Do You Call A Broke Santa... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call A Broke Santa? Saint-NICKEL-LESS 

12
242 133
Why Was Santa's Little Helper ... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Was Santa's Little Helper Depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. 

13
217 117
Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smar... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smart Blonde Neither of them exist.

14
209 120
What Nationality Is Santa Clau... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Santa Jokes
What Nationality Is Santa Claus North Polish  

The Top 13 Stories of Kids Traumatized by Santa

15
198 119
What's The Difference Between ... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Santa Jokes
What's The Difference Between Santa's Reindeer And A Knight? One's slayin' the dragon the other one's draggin' the sleigh.

16
217 136
Who Delivers Christmas Present... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Santa Jokes
Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Cats? Santa Claws!

17
182 122
Who Delivers Christmas Present... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list Santa Jokes
Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Dogs? Santa Paws!

18
177 128
What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list Santa Jokes
What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes Make? A jolly Santa

19
164 131
What Do You Call Santa's Helpe... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate clauses

20
149 122
What Goes "Oh Oh Oh? is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list Santa Jokes
What Goes "Oh Oh Oh? Santa walking backwards.

21
159 139
Do You Know Why Santa Only Had... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list Santa Jokes
Do You Know Why Santa Only Had 8 Reindeer Last Year? Comet stayed home to clean the sink!

22
125 142
What Red And White And Falls D... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list Santa Jokes
What Red And White And Falls Down The Chimney? Santa Klutz

23
128 152
Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Cla... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Claus? She was a ho ho ho!  

24
104 149
Why Does Santa Have Three Gard... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Does Santa Have Three Gardens? So he can ho ho ho!

25
77 181
What Do You Call A Smelly Sant... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call A Smelly Santa? Farter Christmas