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Santa Jokes  

Jack Napier
10.2k votes 1.7k voters 39.6k views

List Rules Vote up your favorite funny joke about Santa Claus

After spending years on the naughty list this is an attempt to finally hit back at that ancient snowy overlord the only way that exists, with a list of killer jokes about the fat man him self. Hope you’re ready for some hot fire Santa Claus. This year instead of cookies and milk, leave Sinterklaas your favorite jokes from our list of funny Santa one liners and show him who’s boss. If you’re afraid to end up on Santa’s naughty list, you can just enjoy this list of jokes about Santa in the privacy of your own holiday nook over a mug of eggnog. Santa Claus jokes!

If  forced to choose our favorite holiday sprite, I'd choose Krampus, the child eating, switch carrying Christmas demon from Scandinavia, he seems cool. Not like that bozo with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Even if I can’t get to Norway in time for Christmas, I'd like to get in the Krampus spirit by telling funny Santa jokes while sipping at a warm cup of apple cider. Being naughty never felt so good. After working on this list of funny jokes about Santa Claus, I think I've figured out how Father Christmas thinks. You can consider this our naughty list. After you check out this list of Santa jokes, try a few out at your next Christmas party and prepare to bring the guests to their knees…with laughter.

Vote on the funniest joke about Santa Claus and try one out at your next Christmas party. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest your mom jokes of all time.

1
Why Is Christmas Like A Day At... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Is Christmas Like A Day At The Office?
Because you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. 
2
Why Is Santa So Jolly? is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Is Santa So Jolly?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. 

3
Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids? is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids?
He only comes once a year.
4
How Do You Know Santa Is A Man... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Santa Jokes
How Do You Know Santa Is A Man?
No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.
5
What's The Difference Between ... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Santa Jokes
What's The Difference Between Tiger Woods And Santa?
Santa stopped at three hoes.
6
Why Did Santa Send His Daughte... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Did Santa Send His Daughter To College?

To keep her off the North Pole 

7
What Do You Call Santa When He... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call Santa When He Goes Down The Chimney When The Fire Is Lit?
Crisp Kringle
8
What Do You Call People Who Ar... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic
9
What Do The Female Reindeer Wh... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do The Female Reindeer When Santa Takes The Males Out For Xmas Eve?

They go into town, and blow a few bucks. 

10
What Do You Call A Broke Santa... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call A Broke Santa?

Saint-NICKEL-LESS 

11
What Do You Call A Kid Who Doe... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call A Kid Who Doesn't Believe In Santa?
A rebel without a claus. 
12
Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smar... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smart Blonde
Neither of them exist.
13
Why Was Santa's Little Helper ... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Was Santa's Little Helper Depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem. 

14
What Nationality Is Santa Clau... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Santa Jokes
What Nationality Is Santa Claus
North Polish
 
15
What's The Difference Between ... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Santa Jokes
What's The Difference Between Santa's Reindeer And A Knight?
One's slayin' the dragon the other one's draggin' the sleigh.
16
Who Delivers Christmas Present... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Santa Jokes
Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Cats?
Santa Claws!
17
Who Delivers Christmas Present... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list Santa Jokes
Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Dogs?
Santa Paws!
18
What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list Santa Jokes
What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes Make?
A jolly Santa
19
What Goes "Oh Oh Oh? is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list Santa Jokes
What Goes "Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards.
20
What Do You Call Santa's Helpe... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate clauses
21
Do You Know Why Santa Only Had... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list Santa Jokes
Do You Know Why Santa Only Had 8 Reindeer Last Year?
Comet stayed home to clean the sink!
22
What Red And White And Falls D... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list Santa Jokes
What Red And White And Falls Down The Chimney?
Santa Klutz
23
Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Cla... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Claus?
She was a ho ho ho!
 
24
Why Does Santa Have Three Gard... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list Santa Jokes
Why Does Santa Have Three Gardens?
So he can ho ho ho!
25
What Do You Call A Smelly Sant... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list Santa Jokes
What Do You Call A Smelly Santa?
Farter Christmas