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1.8k voters

Santa Jokes

Updated June 14, 2019 13.5k votes 1.8k voters 42.9k views25 items

List RulesVote up your favorite funny joke about Santa Claus

After spending years on the naughty list this is an attempt to finally hit back at that ancient snowy overlord the only way that exists, with a list of killer jokes about the fat man him self. Hope you’re ready for some hot fire Santa Claus. This year instead of cookies and milk, leave Sinterklaas your favorite jokes from our list of funny Santa one liners and show him who’s boss. If you’re afraid to end up on Santa’s naughty list, you can just enjoy this list of jokes about Santa in the privacy of your own holiday nook over a mug of eggnog. Santa Claus jokes!

If  forced to choose our favorite holiday sprite, I'd choose Krampus, the child eating, switch carrying Christmas demon from Scandinavia, he seems cool. Not like that bozo with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Even if I can’t get to Norway in time for Christmas, I'd like to get in the Krampus spirit by telling funny Santa jokes while sipping at a warm cup of apple cider. Being naughty never felt so good. After working on this list of funny jokes about Santa Claus, I think I've figured out how Father Christmas thinks. You can consider this our naughty list. After you check out this list of Santa jokes, try a few out at your next Christmas party and prepare to bring the guests to their knees…with laughter.

Vote on the funniest joke about Santa Claus and try one out at your next Christmas party. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest your mom jokes of all time.

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  • 1
    608
    96

    Why Did Santa Send His Daughter To College?

    To keep her off the North Pole 

  • 2
    329
    96

    Do You Know Why Santa Only Had 8 Reindeer Last Year?

    Comet stayed home to clean the sink!
  • 3
    339
    130

    Why Is Christmas Like A Day At The Office?

    Because you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. 
  • 4
    431
    189

    Why Is Santa So Jolly?

    Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. 

  • 5
    674
    329

    What Do You Call Santa When He Goes Down The Chimney When The Fire Is Lit?

    Crisp Kringle
  • 6
    270
    101

    Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Claus?

    She was a ho ho ho!
     
  • 7
    550
    274

    What Do The Female Reindeer When Santa Takes The Males Out For Xmas Eve?

    They go into town, and blow a few bucks. 

  • 8
    318
    146

    Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids?

    He only comes once a year.
  • 9
    515
    280

    Why Was Santa's Little Helper Depressed?

    Because he had low elf esteem. 

  • 10
    446
    249

    What Nationality Is Santa Claus

    North Polish
     
  • 11
    218
    99

    Why Does Santa Have Three Gardens?

    So he can ho ho ho!
  • 12
    428
    244

    What's The Difference Between Santa's Reindeer And A Knight?

    One's slayin' the dragon the other one's draggin' the sleigh.
  • 13
    265
    134

    How Do You Know Santa Is A Man?

    No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.
  • 14
    255
    131

    What's The Difference Between Tiger Woods And Santa?

    Santa stopped at three hoes.
  • 15
    207
    105

    What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus?

    Claustrophobic
  • 16
    451
    283

    Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Cats?

    Santa Claws!
  • 17
    388
    256

    Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Dogs?

    Santa Paws!
  • 18
    193
    108

    What Do You Call A Kid Who Doesn't Believe In Santa?

    A rebel without a claus. 
  • 19
    147
    83

    Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smart Blonde

    Neither of them exist.
  • 20
    371
    274

    What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes Make?

    A jolly Santa
  • 21
    338
    276

    What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

    Subordinate clauses
  • 22
    261
    295

    What Red And White And Falls Down The Chimney?

    Santa Klutz
  • 23
    162
    284

    What Do You Call A Broke Santa?

    Saint-NICKEL-LESS 

  • 24
    174
    382

    What Do You Call A Smelly Santa?

    Farter Christmas
  • 25
    98
    253

    What Goes "Oh Oh Oh?

    Santa walking backwards.