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Santa Jokes

Updated June 14, 2019 10.3k votes 1.8k voters 42.9k views

List RulesVote up your favorite funny joke about Santa Claus

After spending years on the naughty list this is an attempt to finally hit back at that ancient snowy overlord the only way that exists, with a list of killer jokes about the fat man him self. Hope you’re ready for some hot fire Santa Claus. This year instead of cookies and milk, leave Sinterklaas your favorite jokes from our list of funny Santa one liners and show him who’s boss. If you’re afraid to end up on Santa’s naughty list, you can just enjoy this list of jokes about Santa in the privacy of your own holiday nook over a mug of eggnog. Santa Claus jokes!

If  forced to choose our favorite holiday sprite, I'd choose Krampus, the child eating, switch carrying Christmas demon from Scandinavia, he seems cool. Not like that bozo with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. Even if I can’t get to Norway in time for Christmas, I'd like to get in the Krampus spirit by telling funny Santa jokes while sipping at a warm cup of apple cider. Being naughty never felt so good. After working on this list of funny jokes about Santa Claus, I think I've figured out how Father Christmas thinks. You can consider this our naughty list. After you check out this list of Santa jokes, try a few out at your next Christmas party and prepare to bring the guests to their knees…with laughter.

Vote on the funniest joke about Santa Claus and try one out at your next Christmas party. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest your mom jokes of all time.

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  • Why Is Christmas Like A Day At The Office?1
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    Why Is Christmas Like A Day At The Office?

    Because you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. 
  • Why Is Santa So Jolly?2
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    Why Is Santa So Jolly?

    Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. 

  • Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids?3
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    Why Doesn't Santa Have Kids?

    He only comes once a year.
  • How Do You Know Santa Is A Man?4
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    How Do You Know Santa Is A Man?

    No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.
  • What's The Difference Between Tiger Woods And Santa?5
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    What's The Difference Between Tiger Woods And Santa?

    Santa stopped at three hoes.
  • What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus?6
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    What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus?

    Claustrophobic
  • Why Did Santa Send His Daughter To College?7
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    Why Did Santa Send His Daughter To College?

    To keep her off the North Pole 

  • What Do The Female Reindeer When Santa Takes The Males Out For Xmas Eve?8
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    What Do The Female Reindeer When Santa Takes The Males Out For Xmas Eve?

    They go into town, and blow a few bucks. 

  • What Do You Call A Kid Who Doesn't Believe In Santa?9
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    What Do You Call A Kid Who Doesn't Believe In Santa?

    A rebel without a claus. 
  • What Do You Call A Broke Santa?10
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    What Do You Call A Broke Santa?

    Saint-NICKEL-LESS 

  • Why Was Santa's Little Helper Depressed?11
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    Why Was Santa's Little Helper Depressed?

    Because he had low elf esteem. 

  • Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smart Blonde12
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    Why Is Santa Claus Like A Smart Blonde

    Neither of them exist.
  • What Nationality Is Santa Claus13
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    What Nationality Is Santa Claus

    North Polish
     
  • What Goes "Oh Oh Oh?14
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    What Goes "Oh Oh Oh?

    Santa walking backwards.
  • What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?15
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    What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?

    Subordinate clauses
  • What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes Make?16
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    What Does One Ho Plus Two Hoes Make?

    A jolly Santa
  • Do You Know Why Santa Only Had 8 Reindeer Last Year?17
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    Do You Know Why Santa Only Had 8 Reindeer Last Year?

    Comet stayed home to clean the sink!
  • Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Claus?18
    100
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    Why Did Santa Divorce Mrs. Claus?

    She was a ho ho ho!
     
  • What Do You Call Santa When He Goes Down The Chimney When The Fire Is Lit?19
    259
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    What Do You Call Santa When He Goes Down The Chimney When The Fire Is Lit?

    Crisp Kringle
  • What's The Difference Between Santa's Reindeer And A Knight?20
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    What's The Difference Between Santa's Reindeer And A Knight?

    One's slayin' the dragon the other one's draggin' the sleigh.
  • Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Cats?21
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    Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Cats?

    Santa Claws!
  • Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Dogs?22
    145
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    Who Delivers Christmas Presents To Dogs?

    Santa Paws!
  • What Do You Call A Smelly Santa?23
    66
    144

    What Do You Call A Smelly Santa?

    Farter Christmas
  • What Red And White And Falls Down The Chimney?24
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    What Red And White And Falls Down The Chimney?

    Santa Klutz
  • Why Does Santa Have Three Gardens?25
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    Why Does Santa Have Three Gardens?

    So he can ho ho ho!