Total Nerd The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter  

Tamar Altebarmakian
6.9k votes 724 voters 7.2k views 24 items

List Rules Vote up the comebacks that slay like a killing curse.

An abundance of funny comebacks in Harry Potter exist throughout the franchise, some as injurious as an Unforgivable Curse. In addition to his habit of sacrificing himself for the greater good, one of Harry’s most endearing qualities is his unparalleled skill as a sassmaster, a trait shared by many other characters in the Hogwarts universe. From Snape to Dudley to the Weasley twins, no wizard or muggle felt safe from savage Harry Potter comebacks. In fact, Harry Potter comeback quotes are widely prevalent in the wizarding world, with Ron, Hermione, and the brilliantly brutal Professor McGonagall delivering scorching burns even Madame Pomfrey can't soothe.

While some of these Harry Potter comeback quotes only appeared in the films, most can be found in the books, where author J.K. Rowling unleashes the full extent of her burn prowess. Thanks to her expertise, funny Harry Potter quotes shine brightly alongside the best quotes in the Harry Potter seriesTake your cues from this hilarious series, and utilize these savage Harry Potter comebacks to shut down the Dursleys in your life. There's a new troll in the dungeon, and his name is Harry Potter.

1
409 42
There's No Need To Call Me... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
There's No Need To Call Me 'Sir,' Professor. Harry Potter

2
336 49
I'm Sorry, Professor, But ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
I'm Sorry, Professor, But I Must Not Tell Lies. Harry Potter

3
335 51
Mr. Moony Presents His Complim... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Mr. Moony Presents His Compliments To Professor Snape, And Begs Him To Keep His Abnormally Large Nose Out Of Other People's Business. The Marauder's Map

4
324 54
Yes, It Is Easy To See That Ne... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yes, It Is Easy To See That Nearly Six Years Of Magical Education Have Not Been Wasted On You, Potter. Ghosts Are Transparent. Severus Snape

5
306 51
He Can Move Faster Than Severu... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
He Can Move Faster Than Severus Snape Confronted With Shampoo. Fred Weasley

6
278 44
Just Because It's Taken Yo... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Just Because It's Taken You Three Years To Notice, Ron, Doesn't Mean No One Else Has Spotted That I'm A Girl! Hermione Granger

7
297 51
Yeah, Quirrell Was A Great Tea... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yeah, Quirrell Was A Great Teacher. There Was Just That Minor Drawback Of Him Having Lord Voldemort Sticking Out Of The Back Of His Head. Harry Potter

8
284 51
Wow, I Wonder What It'd Be... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Wow, I Wonder What It'd Be Like To Have A Difficult Life? Harry Potter

9
290 58
Just Because You've Got Th... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Just Because You've Got The Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon.... Hermione Granger

10
274 52
Perhaps It Would Be More Usefu... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Perhaps It Would Be More Useful If I Were To Transfigure Mr. Potter Or Yourself Into A Pocket Watch? That Way One Of You Might Be On Time. Minerva McGonagall

11
223 44
Yeah, You Can Have A Word. Goo... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yeah, You Can Have A Word. Good-bye. Harry Potter

12
203 38
Great, Tell Me When You've... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Great, Tell Me When You've Defeated Voldemort For Me, Will You? Harry Potter

13
239 57
You See, I Do Not Generally Pe... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
You See, I Do Not Generally Permit People To Talk When I Am Talking. Minvera McGonagall

14
229 53
Pity You Can't Attach An E... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Pity You Can't Attach An Extra Arm To Yours, Malfoy. Then It Could Catch The Snitch For You. Harry Potter

All Harry Potter Movies, Ranked Best to Worst

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212 54
This Is Night, Diddykins. That... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
This Is Night, Diddykins. That’s What We Call It When It Goes All Dark Like This. Harry Potter

16
200 50
The Poor Toilet's Never Ha... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
The Poor Toilet's Never Had Anything As Horrible As Your Head Down It — It Might Be Sick. Harry potter

17
188 47
Kill Us Faster? Oh, Now I Can ... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Kill Us Faster? Oh, Now I Can Relax! Ron Weasley

18
184 46
So You've Finally Learned ... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
So You've Finally Learned The Days Of The Week. Harry Potter

19
170 38
Yeah, But You, Unlike Me, Are ... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Yeah, But You, Unlike Me, Are A Git, So Get Out And Leave Us Alone Harry Potter

20
186 51
The Best Kiss He's Ever Gotten... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
The Best Kiss He's Ever Gotten Is From Our Auntie Murial! Ginny Weasley

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168 51
Ah, Shut Up, Dursley, Yeh Grea... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Ah, Shut Up, Dursley, Yeh Great Prune. Rubeus Hagrid

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158 45
Did You Think We Were Going To... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
Did You Think We Were Going To Be Staying In A Five-Star Hotel? Finding A Horcrux Every Other Day? Harry Potter

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163 52
So Why Not Have A Go? They Mig... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
So Why Not Have A Go? They Might Be Able To Find You A Double Cell In Azkaban For Your Loser Of A Husband! Harry Potter

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147 58
You Need Your Inner Eye tested... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter
You Need Your Inner Eye tested, If You Ask Me… Hermione Granger