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The Sassiest Comebacks From Harry Potter

List RulesVote up the comebacks that slay like a killing curse.

An abundance of funny comebacks in Harry Potter exist throughout the franchise, some as injurious as an Unforgivable Curse. In addition to his habit of sacrificing himself for the greater good, one of Harry’s most endearing qualities is his unparalleled skill as a sassmaster, a trait shared by many other characters in the Hogwarts universe. From Snape to Dudley to the Weasley twins, no wizard or muggle felt safe from savage Harry Potter comebacks. In fact, Harry Potter comeback quotes are widely prevalent in the wizarding world, with Ron, Hermione, and the brilliantly brutal Professor McGonagall delivering scorching burns even Madame Pomfrey can't soothe.

While some of these Harry Potter comeback quotes only appeared in the films, most can be found in the books, where author J.K. Rowling unleashes the full extent of her burn prowess. Thanks to her expertise, funny Harry Potter quotes shine brightly alongside the best quotes in the Harry Potter seriesTake your cues from this hilarious series, and utilize these savage Harry Potter comebacks to shut down the Dursleys in your life. There's a new troll in the dungeon, and his name is Harry Potter.

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  • 1
    4,665
    435

    I'm Sorry, Professor, But I Must Not Tell Lies.

    Harry Potter

  • 2
    4,053
    491

    Mr. Moony Presents His Compliments To Professor Snape, And Begs Him To Keep His Abnormally Large Nose Out Of Other People's Business.

    The Marauder's Map

  • 3
    3,728
    503

    Just Because You've Got The Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon....

    Hermione Granger

  • 4
    3,225
    426

    Perhaps It Would Be More Useful If I Were To Transfigure Mr. Potter Or Yourself Into A Pocket Watch? That Way One Of You Might Be On Time.

    Minerva McGonagall

  • 5
    3,710
    505

    Just Because It's Taken You Three Years To Notice, Ron, Doesn't Mean No One Else Has Spotted That I'm A Girl!

    Hermione Granger

  • 6
    3,265
    529

    Yes, It Is Easy To See That Nearly Six Years Of Magical Education Have Not Been Wasted On You, Potter. Ghosts Are Transparent.

    Severus Snape

  • 7
    4,000
    709

    There's No Need To Call Me 'Sir,' Professor.

    Harry Potter

  • 8
    3,101
    540

    He Can Move Faster Than Severus Snape Confronted With Shampoo.

    Fred Weasley

  • 9
    2,867
    499

    Yeah, Quirrell Was A Great Teacher. There Was Just That Minor Drawback Of Him Having Lord Voldemort Sticking Out Of The Back Of His Head.

    Harry Potter

  • 10
    1,970
    373

    Kill Us Faster? Oh, Now I Can Relax!

    Ron Weasley

  • 11
    2,092
    428

    You See, I Do Not Generally Permit People To Talk When I Am Talking.

    Minvera McGonagall

  • 12
    1,903
    385

    Great, Tell Me When You've Defeated Voldemort For Me, Will You?

    Harry Potter

  • 13
    2,275
    478

    Pity You Can't Attach An Extra Arm To Yours, Malfoy. Then It Could Catch The Snitch For You.

    Harry Potter

  • 14
    2,067
    434

    The Best Kiss He's Ever Gotten Is From Our Auntie Murial!

    Ginny Weasley

  • 15
    1,742
    394

    The Poor Toilet's Never Had Anything As Horrible As Your Head Down It — It Might Be Sick.

    Harry potter

  • 16
    1,476
    333

    So You've Finally Learned The Days Of The Week.

    Harry Potter

  • 17
    2,132
    523

    Wow, I Wonder What It'd Be Like To Have A Difficult Life?

    Harry Potter

  • 18
    1,597
    394

    This Is Night, Diddykins. That’s What We Call It When It Goes All Dark Like This.

    Harry Potter

  • 19
    1,567
    389

    Ah, Shut Up, Dursley, Yeh Great Prune.

    Rubeus Hagrid

  • 20
    1,851
    482

    Yeah, You Can Have A Word. Good-bye.

    Harry Potter

  • 21
    1,218
    341

    So Why Not Have A Go? They Might Be Able To Find You A Double Cell In Azkaban For Your Loser Of A Husband!

    Harry Potter

  • 22
    1,367
    399

    Did You Think We Were Going To Be Staying In A Five-Star Hotel? Finding A Horcrux Every Other Day?

    Harry Potter

  • 23
    1,223
    358

    You Need Your Inner Eye tested, If You Ask Me…

    Hermione Granger

  • 24
    1,217
    370

    Yeah, But You, Unlike Me, Are A Git, So Get Out And Leave Us Alone

    Harry Potter

  • 25
    30
    21

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