The Wildest Things Scientologists Really Believe

What's so sci-fi about an intergalactic being that wants to enslave humanity? Just everything. One of the most well-known Scientology beliefs is the existence of Xenu, an alien galactic ruler who was king of the planets.

Xenu knew that the galaxy was faced with overpopulation, so he did the one thing that made sense: he got together all of the available space psychiatrists and had them inject some of the universe's inhabitants with a substance that immobilized them. After that, he had their bodies loaded into space planes that looked exactly like DC-8s and flew them to Earth. He then proceeded to drop the paralyzed bodies of his constituents around a series of active volcanoes, which he then blew up with a hydrogen bomb. 

Eventually, a rebellion occurred where Xenu was captured and imprisoned on an unnamed planet within a mountain trap. Its commonly believed by Scientologists that Xenu is still imprisoned and alive today at this location. 

Have you ever wondered how so many different cultures were able to create the same God/Devil/Savior mythology? Joseph Campbell says that this kind of comparative mythology is how various cultures attempt to explain their existence and that people are subconsciously attracted to the idea of the hero, which is why you have Jesus, Muhammad, and the Buddha sharing similar stories.

Well, according to Scientologists this concept is untrue, because what really happened is, after Xenu dropped all the bodies off next to active volcanoes, their souls floated into the sky, were captured by sticky electronic beams, and taken to special theaters. There, the souls were shown 3D images that programmed misleading information into their being, like the concepts of God, the Devil, and Christ. After the programming, their souls floated back to Earth and took up residence inside our bodies and gave people the seemingly false ideas of other faiths.

Everything you think you know about the universe is untrue because while you're reading up about the Milky Way and gravity (proven scientific concepts), L. Ron Hubbard is dropping knowledge about the Galactic Confederacy and their control of Earth. 

Scientologists believe that, like the UN (and such fictional organizations as the Federation of Planets, Empire, First Order, or Spacing Guild), the Galactic Confederacy is a collection of planets that work together to govern the universe.

According to Scientology doctrine, "implants" are a form of thought insertion where someone with evil intent (like Xenu or a psychiatrist) will attempt to put a fixed idea in your head. The ideas could be anything and everything that can be thought of as trying to alter one's thoughts onto a darker path. 

When Xenu locked all of those alien souls in a movie theater and forced them to watch 3D images about the Christian religion, that was a form of implanting. But there's supposedly an even worse implant, and if you try to remember what it is, it will kill you.

According to L. Ron Hubbard, the R6 implant is "calculated to kill (by pneumonia and many other ailments) anyone who attempts to solve it." As can be expected, not many people who believe in Scientology try to solve this implant. 

Did you think you were free from the fear of implants once you were dead? If so, you'll be disappointed to learn you were wrong. Just because you're dead doesn't mean that the thetans in your body aren't subject to being implanted with more negative feelings and false information. 

According to Hubbard, after death, your main thetan (different from "body thetans," the souls of those volcano aliens that have taken up residence inside a person's body) is sent to an "implant station" in outer space. At this station, old memories are erased, and new, false ones are inserted. According to the author, the stations operate like turnpike gas stations, some of them being better than others. He even warned followers to avoid the station on Venus. 

In a letter to his followers, L. Ron Hubbard admits that he was never a fan of the idea of Heaven because it sounded kind of "corny." Then he had a revelation. After some soul searching, he is believed to have remembered that not only had he been to Heaven, but everyone has been to Heaven - and our implants simply wipe it from our memory.

It turns out that if you want to get a good idea of what Heaven looks like, you must hop on California State Route 2. It's believed that Scientologists think heaven has the appearance of Pasadena. According to L. Ron Hubbard:

The gates of the first series are well done, well built. An avenue of statues of saints leads up to them. The gate pillars are surmounted by marble angels. The entering grounds are very well kept, laid out like Bush Gardens in Pasadena, so often seen in the movies. Aside from the implant boxes which lie across from each other on the walk there are other noises and sounds as though the saints are defending and berating. These are unimportant to the incident.