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Servers Are Sharing Stories About Their Worst Customers And They're Brutal And Hilarious

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List RulesVote for the stories that make you want to refuse service.

A 17-top of disgruntled vegans, a family of 10 who want a table just before closing, and a woman who attacks a waiter for attempting to save her date's life are just a few of the stories being shared in the subreddit Tales from Your Server. These stories prove once again that waiters are the most underappreciated and underpaid members of the workforce.  

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  • 5

    'You're Dismissed'

    Posted by Redditor u/AliensAreDemons:

    Bartender here.

    This girl walks into my bar and I walk over as usual place a bev-nap in front of her and ask her

    “Hey! How are you? What can I get you today?”

    “Cosmo,” she says.

    “Alright coming right up. That’s a really cool dress by the way.” 

    (It was like one of those expensive skin tight Kim Kardashian dresses it had these metal panels going through it that lit up when she moved—I dunno it was cooI just mentioned it. It was a very quick off the cuff comment. Not hitting on her or anything.)

    She then gives me this “ew” look and goes, “One. I have a boyfriend. 2. I don’t date f****ts. 3. Hurry up with my drink before I decide you don’t get to work here”

    I suddenly stop. Slightly shocked. Flood of thoughts quickly go through my head. Like was she joking? Would someone think that was humorous?

    Nope. She was dead serious.

    My Turn:

    “In what universe do you think you can walk into a bar—insult the bartender—and actually expect him to make you drinks?"

    Silence.

    “Nah, you’re dismissed.”

    Shecomes back the next day with her boyfriend and she points at me as if saying “that’s him” he goes

    “Yo I heard you were talking sh*t about my girl. Do you know what happens when guys talk sh*t to my girl?”

    Ugh here we go with one of those guys who wants to put on a macho performance for his girl. These specimen are the dumbest of the dumb.

    “Do you know what actually happened?”

    “I don’t care what happened! You disrespected my girl”

    At this point he actually jumped over the bar and I jumped over the bar as well to his side, then he jumped back over the bar to the guests side, at which point one of the bouncers tackled him.

     

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    Cursed customers?
  • 6

    Slapping A Server

    Posted by Redditor u/Avianmosquito:

    I work as a bartender at a small restaurant. I was at work last night, and I'm working decently quick on account of it being Saturday. I am presently making a series of  Long Islands when I hear somebody on the other end of the restaurant demand to speak to a manager, and "...Maybe they can get us some ACTUAL service!".

    For the purposes of the restaurant this week, I am the manager. I, regretfully, set down 4/6  Long Islands, leaving two unhappy regulars. I walk over and introduce myself to an older couple in their 60s sitting there angrily eyeing me and a young waittress.  

    "This stupid girl just brought me a flat beer!" I look, the beer in question is not flat. It has less head than is ideal, but it is not flat. Still, I don't argue with him. "Sir, that's not her fault." I try, his wife cuts me off. "Yes, it is. Anybody with eyes can see this beer is flat. If it's flat, she shouldn't have brought it!" Again. Beer? Not flat.

    I try a different tactic. "I am the bartender here, ma'am. If you blame anybody, blame me." Her husband gives me a smarmy, condescending-without-a-word kind of look. "Well, now we're getting somewhere. Why'd you pour me a flat beer?" I finally get to explain. "I'm sorry sir, our tap was damaged earlier this week. I can get you a different beer, but Mac..." He looks offended, and his wife cuts him off to yell at me. "What, you haven't fixed it? What kind of restaurant is this?"

    I try to explain the manager is in her 70s and home sick, but the server makes the mistake of trying to take back the beer the old man didn't want. The Karen slaps her hand, and her husband glares at the young woman. "I didn't say you could take that back! Go play on your phone."

    I glare at these two, realise they haven't gotten any food yet, just a beer they didn't want, and realise how much easier it'll be to do the only appropriate thing. "Ma'am, you can't be striking servers. I am going to have to ask you to leave." She stares at me slack-jawed, like she's shocked she's being kicked out for a literal slap on the wrist. Well, hand, but still.

    "It was just a tap!" She insists, her husband hating at me with his hating eyes. "No. I'm not moving. Get me your manager."

    I try again to tell them the manager is sick, so I am acting manager. He cuts me off.

    "Get her on the phone, then. I'm not leaving until..."

    I cut him off. "...The police arrive? Because if I'm calling anybody, it'll be them. Don't worry, though. It's a misdemeanour."

    He leaves immediately. I return to find a line of inpatient, but understanding customers.  

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  • 7

    Then She Left Without Ordering 

    Posted by Redditor u/ScaryTerry22:

    I waited tables during college and this is one of the best memories I have of my manager handling a rude guest.

    One of my tables was a gay couple at a booth. They were holding hands across the table basically the whole time they were at the restaurant. At one point, a lady with two small children flags me down from across the dining room (her table wasn’t in my section so I assumed she just wanted me to go find her server). I go over and ask her what I can do for her, and she says: 

    “What the HELL is wrong with you? How can you possibly allow THEM in here? I’ve been coming here for 20 years and I’m appalled. Do me a favor and move those q***rs to a different table so my kids don’t have to see that sort of disgusting behavior.”

    Literally all they were doing was holding hands. Get over yourself, lady. I wanted to tell her off, but instead just said, “One moment ma’am and I’ll get a manager for you.”

    I went and told my manager what was going on and he promptly went over to her table and told her that if she had an issue with other guests minding their own business and eating their food, then maybe she’d be better off not eating out. She grabbed her kids and left without ordering. 

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  • 8

    'First And Last Date'

    Posted by Redditor u/couldbef*ckingworse:

    I’m a full time student getting my PHD at age 30 and I work full time as a server, I’ve been working at this Greek bistro for the greatest people for almost 15 years now. I started bussing at almost 16 and I’m now a manager.

    So a few months ago it’s around six and one of our regulars I’ll call him Andy comes in. Andy works at a mattress store and always comes in for lunch. He’s a awesome guy, and he’s a big guy he’s close to 400 pounds. Anyway Andy shows up after work with a woman she’s maybe a good ten or so years older than him. It’s obvious their on a date. So we make a fuss over him, the owners wife gets him our best table and we bring them a complimentary glass of champagne.

    He orders our platter of meat she orders a vegetarian platter. They are eating and I hear her gasp, Andy’s face is blue and his hands are over his throat. So I go over and I give him the Heimlich while the owner calls 911. I’m giving him back blows when his date whacks me with her purse. “Your hurting him I took first aid that’s not right!!” She’s screaming in my face. He’s still choking, the owner pulls her away from me she’s screaming still. Andy’s piece of steak goes flying, he’s able to breathe. The paramedics are there and she’s telling them I hurt him. The paramedics tell her I saved his life.

    Anyway they end up taking Andy in because he was wheezing a bit. She throws me a dirty look and follows them out.

    Two days later Andy comes in for lunch with his co worker he thanks me over and over. Then he tells me that was the first and last date with that woman. He brought his newest gf in yesterday, she loved the restaurant and best of all she’s nice.

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    Cursed customers?