Weird History Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History  

Rachel Souerbry
4.9k votes 936 voters 36.6k views 17 items

List Rules Vote up the historical sex insults that you'd most have to fight a feller over.

Of all the old-fashioned ways to insult someone, insults aimed at someone's performance in the bedroom have long been the best for causing a fight as quickly as possible. Throughout history, people have come up with hundreds of creative ways to sling insults at each other. While masters of words like William Shakespeare came up with extremely witty and cutting insults ("embossed carbuncle in my... blood," for example), there were put downs for the rest of us common folk, too.

Simple yet devastating words have been used for centuries all around the world. From Vikings to pirates, Victorian aristocrats to more recent Australian pioneers, nobody was safe. Some Medieval insults have even been documented for their zesty takedown status. The most significant thing to note is that historical insults reflect heavily on the values of the particular time and place in which they would have been used. The Victorians, for example, placed a high value on a woman's purity, hence all the words for "loose women" that sprang out of that period. 

These short and sweet insults might not make us blush nowadays, but, used properly, they can still make a heated argument much hotter. 

list ordered by
1
433 97
Slag – An Old English Word For... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Slag – An Old English Word For The Worst Kind Of Loose Woman

On the opposite end of the spectrum from high-class call girls.

2
313 91
Strumpet – Coined By Shakespea... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Strumpet – Coined By Shakespeare & Used By Pirates, A Very 'Active' Woman Or Prostitute

Always swipes right on Tinder.

3
329 106
Mewling Quim – 19th-Century Br... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Mewling Quim – 19th-Century British Zinger, Similar To Calling Someone A P*ssy

Literally meant a whimpering vagina.

4
256 75
Hedge-Creeper – 1800s Phrase F... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Hedge-Creeper – 1800s Phrase For A Prostitute Who Worked The Countryside

These may have gone extinct.

5
283 101
Dollymop – Victorian Term For ... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Dollymop – Victorian Term For A Part-Time Or Amateur Prostitute

She works as a stripper at night to pay for college.

6
242 88
Flapdoodle – 1800s Term For So... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Flapdoodle – 1800s Term For Someone Who Is Either Too Young Or Too Old For Getting It On

Think Hugh Hefner. 

7
202 99
Dirty Puzzle – Victorian For R... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Dirty Puzzle – Victorian For Really Nasty Prostitute

An extra-nasty corner hoe.

8
196 96
Bedswerver – Shakespeare's... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Bedswerver – Shakespeare's Way Of Calling Someone An Adulterer

He's the town pony – everyone gets a ride.

9
149 79
Wagtail – In The 1800s, A Woma... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Wagtail – In The 1800s, A Woman Who Was Either Promiscuous Or A Prostitute

She's pretty thirsty.

10
182 117
Camp As A Row Of Tents – Austr... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Camp As A Row Of Tents – Australian For 'Extremely Gay' From The Early 1900s

Someone who very much prefers penises. 

11
123 97
Doxy – The Wife Or Lover Of An... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Doxy – The Wife Or Lover Of An Outlaw In Medieval England

She usually goes for the guy with the prison tats. 

12
120 96
Mollisher – In Victorian Engla... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Mollisher – In Victorian England, The Lover Of A Villain Or Gangster

A ride-or-die chick.

13
106 89
Dark Cully – Victorian Term Fo... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Dark Cully – Victorian Term For A Man Who Only Visits His Mistress At Night

That two-timing bastard only goes to see her at night anyway.

14
102 89
Puterelle – In Old French, A W... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Puterelle – In Old French, A Woman With A Naughty Reputation

Girl gets around.

15
94 90
Wandought – Old English For Im... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Wandought – Old English For Impotent

He just can't get it up. 

16
87 100
Yaldson – Old English For... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Yaldson – Old English For Son Of A Prostitute

Yeah, he doesn't want to talk about his mom's job.

17
94 118
Sansordinn – Viking Burn For I... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list Let's Bring Back These Hilarious Sex Insults Used Throughout History
Sansordinn – Viking Burn For Implying Another Man Was Raped

Similar to 14 year olds in a locker room.