Funny The Best Short Jokes  

Jack Napier
1.1k votes 352 voters 7.2k views 22 items

List Rules Vote up every funny short joke you want to bust out at your next cocktail party

Sometimes the best way to break the ice in an awkward situation is to make a joke. But if you’re in a situation where you’ve only got a minute or two (like if you’re in an elevator with your boss), you don’t have time to tell an elaborate joke, that’s why you should always have a great short joke at the ready. Even if you don’t have an intimidating boss, you’ll always need to keep a hilarious short joke up your sleeve. This is a list of the funniest short jokes.

Everyone knows that the quickest way to becoming the coolest person in the room to make everyone laugh. Whether you need a joke about a nun, or a fast pun about bees, this list has you covered. If you’ve got a mind like a steel trap, try to memorize all of these for the next dinner party you’re attending. And if you aren’t invited to any parties, don’t worry, after you start throwing a few of these great short jokes around you’ll be fending off invitations like mosquitos.

Vote on the funniest short joke, and then make sure you own a nice shirt, because you’re going to be the life of the party.
list ordered by
1
77 42
What Do You Call a Sleepwalkin... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Do You Call a Sleepwalking Nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
2
43 21
How Do You Make Holy Water? is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Short Jokes
How Do You Make Holy Water?
You boil the hell out of it.
3
42 22
How Do You Make A Tissue Dance... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Short Jokes
How Do You Make A Tissue Dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
4
37 18
What Did The Fish Say When He ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Did The Fish Say When He Swam Into The Wall?
DAM!
5
27 10
What Do You Get When You Put a... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Do You Get When You Put a Candle In a Suit Of Armor?
A knight light.
6
29 12
What Do You Call A Cheese That... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Do You Call A Cheese That's Not Yours?
Nacho cheese!
7
39 21
What Do You Call A Deer With N... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Do You Call A Deer With No Eyes?
No eye deer.
8
41 23
What Did The Zen Buddhist Say ... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Did The Zen Buddhist Say To The Hotdog Vendor?
Make me one with everything.
9
35 20
Why Can't You Hear A Ptero... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Short Jokes
Why Can't You Hear A Pterodactyl In The Bathroom?
Because he has a silent pee.
10
28 14
What Did The Grape Say When He... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Did The Grape Say When He Was Pinched?
Nothing, he gave a little wine.
11
33 19
What Kind Of Bees Make Milk In... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Kind Of Bees Make Milk Instead Of Honey?
Boobies
12
34 20
A Mushroom Walk Into A Bar is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Short Jokes
A Mushroom Walk Into A Bar
The bartender says "we don't serve your kind." The mushroom responds, "Why not? I'm a fungai!"
13
30 17
What Does A Nosey Pepper Do? is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Does A Nosey Pepper Do?
Gets jalapeno business!
14
34 22
Why Does Snoop Dogg Carry An U... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Short Jokes
Why Does Snoop Dogg Carry An Umbrella?
Fo Drizzle!
15
23 12
What's Brown And Sticky? is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What's Brown And Sticky?
A stick!
16
24 13
What Did The 0 Say To The 8? is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Did The 0 Say To The 8?
Nice belt!
17
24 14
What's Beethovens Favorite... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What's Beethovens Favorite Fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaa!
18
21 13
What Do You Get When You Throw... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Short Jokes
What Do You Get When You Throw A Piano Down A Mine Shaft?
A flat miner.
19
33 25
Why Did The Policeman Smell Ba... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Short Jokes
Why Did The Policeman Smell Bad?
He was on duty.
20
22 19
A Horse Walk Into A Bar is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Short Jokes
A Horse Walk Into A Bar
The bartender asks, "why the long face?"
21
21 18
The Past, Present, And Future ... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Short Jokes
The Past, Present, And Future Walk Into A Bar
It was tense.
22
15 18
Where Does The Sheep Get His H... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Short Jokes
Where Does The Sheep Get His Hair Cut?
To the baaaaa baaaaa shop!