Brotherly and sisterly love can take an unfriendly family turn when sibling double standards come into play. Parents are supposed to love and treat all of their kids the same, right? Well, in some cases, parents may show a preference for one child over another.
Double standards, which often manifest in stricter rules for one child that don't extend to siblings, might result from changing times and expectations. Whatever the reason, some kids could harbor resentment because of such double standards.
From Redditor /u/forgotusernameoften:
Most privileges I get due to age [are identical to the ones] my little brother gets at the same time, even though he is younger.
From Redditor /u/SpatialBreak:
I've got a couple brothers and sisters; I only live with one brother, though. Growing up, when I did something bad, I'd get punished by being locked in my room because "I was the oldest and needed to set an example." While my brother would get away with a lot of the things I did.
If 7-year-old me yelled at 5-year-old him for pinching me, I'd get in trouble and sent to my room for three days. Then if I pinched him after my grounding was over and he yelled at me, I'd get in trouble for pinching him and [be] grounded again.
From Redditor /u/darksaphira:
I have four younger siblings, but the middle child is the favorite while the youngest gets away with the most (my mom was the youngest of five). The rest of us have all caused grief for my parents at some point, and until I went off to college, I definitely felt like life wasn't fair. I grew up with severe punishments for some of the dumbest things. (Come home 15 minutes late? Lose the car for three months.)
The reason was always that, as the oldest, I was the example/experiment child. Now I see my siblings do the same sh*t (or worse things) and get second, third, fourth chances.
From Redditor /u/sexistparents:
I grew up in a Catholic household with pretty strict rules regarding dating and relationships. I was always told that I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend until I turned 18. If I ever had a boy in the house, we weren't allowed to be in the same room alone together, and they were NEVER allowed to be in my bedroom. I followed all of these rules and never broke a single one.
My brother has never been subjected to these rules, however. He had girls around as a teenager, brought them to the house, and was allowed to have them in his room with the door closed without a peep from my parents.
I moved out at 22 and have been living with my boyfriend across the country, so we don't visit very often. I am now 25 and have been with my partner for five years. My parents have not financially supported me in years, and my partner and I are financially independent. Whenever we have visited, my parents required my partner to stay in a makeshift room in the basement. It was cold, drafty, and noisy, but my partner respected the rules of the house for weeks on end. Even when we had been living together for years, my parents required him to sleep in the basement, but we did it out of respect for them.
I am currently visiting and found out that my brother's (22) girlfriend is allowed to sleep over in his room whenever she wants. They have been together for a year, and he still lives at home and is financially dependent on my parents.