There’s a growing conspiracy theory that there are aliens among us, either just living their lives or plotting an elaborate world domination scheme, but how do you know that someone is an alien? Aside from an extraterrestrial coming right out and telling you, you have to be on the look out for alien signs. Maybe it’s a small tick that they have, or their body doesn’t look quite right. Whatever it is, if you suspect that someone you know might be an alien you need to figure it out, and figure it out fast before you or someone you love is abducted. Is there a clear way to tell that you’re dealing with a creature from beyond the stars? What are the signs someone you know might be an alien?
If you don’t know where to start with your investigation into the possible extraterrestrial origins of someone you know, then the following article hosts a bevy of helpful tips for discovering whether or not your new boss is an alien.
Their Features Are Oddly OversizedPhoto: Paul / Universal Pictures
One of the simplest methods for being able to detect an extraterrestrial in disguise is to take a nice long look at their features. Is their nose as big as half a baguette? Are their ears drooping to their shoulders? Do they look like a person who’s been slightly melted? These are the kinds of things that you need to keep an eye out for when you’re on the hunt for aliens. The extraterrestrials with the most exaggerated features are the “tall whites,” a species from beyond the moon that grows to over 10-feet-tall in the apex of their life.
Obviously, if you see someone who’s 10 feet tall you shouldn’t automatically assume that they’re an alien, but you should keep an eye on them. Another fun fact about the tall whites is that they supposedly love Las Vegas, so if you’re playing the slots and see a giant humanoid playing craps you’ve got yourself a spaceman.
The Story Of Their Birth Is Strange To Say The LeastPhoto: Under The Skin / A24
It doesn’t matter what type of alien you’re dealing with, be it reptilian shape-shifter, tall white, a Nordic, or even a little green man, if they don’t have an origin story worked out then they’ve blown their cover. Extraterrestrials have a myriad of reasons to not be discovered. They might freak you out by simply existing, or maybe they’re trying to take over the earth and they don’t want you to stop them, or more likely, they’re trying to live a normal life and don’t want someone reporting them to ICE.
If you meet a new friend and they’re unclear on the particulars of their birth, or if they keep changing their story, then cross-reference their information with the rest of this list and see if they check out.
They Disappear For Days At A Time Without RecollectionPhoto: Phoenix Forgotten / Cinelou Films
Do you have a co-worker or acquaintance who disappears for days at a time with no notice or excuses? When you ask them about their trip do they feign ignorance or simply not know what you’re talking about? If you work with someone who takes multiple sick days and doesn’t feel the need to explain the real reason for their disappearance, or they’re downright rude about ghosting everyone, you should keep an eye on them.
Either they’re a malevolent creature from another world that’s making intergalactic trips, or they don’t know that they are an alien and are being abducted against their will.
They Are Obsessed With Egyptian HieroglyphicsPhoto: Stargate / Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
It’s long been theorized that the Egyptian pyramids at Giza are too mathematically perfect to have actually been built by humans. Allegedly, extraterrestrials placed the pyramids on lines correlating with the true north and south poles, creating a collection of monuments that would line up perfectly with the sun on the winter and summer solstices. It’s not out of the ordinary to meet someone who’s interested in ancient Egyptian culture - it is incredibly fascinating, after all - but if you meet someone who’s completely obsessed with ancient Egypt, specifically ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics, and they seem to have an insight into what the hieroglyphics mean then you’ve either just met an extraterrestrial, or someone suffering from schizophrenia.