Family 20 Signs You Hate Playing Board Games with Your Family  

Mel Judson
122 votes 34 voters

List Rules Vote up everything you either do or have felt during family game time.

It takes a special kind of family to want to play board games together. These people are probably either diehard gamers or junkies for that feeling of cruel supremacy you get when you bankrupt your five-year-old niece and drink her pathetic little tears on your way to a crushing victory in a carefully calculated game of Monopoly. You only really enjoy games if you have no emotion, because they only lead to overwhelming depression at the state of the world, that his is what you've come to, participating in a sordid simulacrum of fascism and murder with your family instead of admitting your mutual disinterest and spending time in different rooms on your iPads.

If you’re a normal human, you actively avoid family game time. Board games, card games, and especially games that ask you to use your entire body are all a nightmare and you know it. There are some things only people who hate playing family board games will understand, and if you’re staring at your computer right now trying to ignore your siblings who are begging you to play whatever their favorite game is, keep reading and take comfort in these signs you can't play board games with your family.

There are plenty of reasons as to why you might hate diving head first into family game time. Maybe you’ve got an uncle who flips out every time he loses and he loses a lot and is fresh out of Rikers on a manslaughter bid he pleaded down from murder. Or maybe you just don’t want to stay up all night playing some horse sh*t game. Maybe you’re the kind of person who doesn’t want to socialize for hours on end, or you’re just not into games, or you absolutely can’t stand and ardently hate and want to kill everything the moment someone breaks out f*cking Settlers of Catan. If that’s you, you’re not alone. 

12 1
There's Always Someone Who Just Has to Win, and You Hate That Person

6 0
The Rules of the Games Have to Be Explained to You Every Time You Play

11 3
The Word "Monopoly" Inspires Anxiety

5 1
You Drink Heavily During Game Time

4 1
You Calculate How Long the Game Takes to Play Because That's How Long You Have to Spend with Your Family

3 0
You Make Zero Effort to Get Better at the Games You Consistently Play

6 4
There's Someone Whose Answer You Know You're Going to Hate

5 3
You Intentionally End the Game as Quickly as Possible

3 1
The Thought of Game Night Fills You with Dread

3 1
You Hate That Everyone Has a Favorite Game Piece

4 3
You Resent the Kid Who Gets Preferential Treatment

5 5
Choking to Death on Your Food Is Preferable to Shuffling UNO Cards

5 5
You Actively Avoid Participating

2 2
When You're Playing You Don't Try to Win

2 2
You Start Intense Political Conversations to Put Off Game Time

2 2
You Go Out of Your Way to Get Food Poisoning Before Game Time

2 2
You Try to Put Off Game Time by Extending Dinner as Long as Possible

1 1
There's a Couple That Always Wins, and You Resent Them Even When You're Not Playing

0 2
When You See Board Games in Public You Wince

0 2
The Phrase "Settlers of Catan" Is Basically a Prison Sentence in Your Head