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The Best Slang Terms for Penis  

Christie Buckner
11.8k votes 892 voters 41k views 63 items

List Rules Vote for your favorite nickname or add your own.

Although many may refer to the dog as man’s best friend, we know deep down that four legged fur balls will always come in a distant second. The truth is that ever since the dawn of man, guys have been thrilled to discover they own a penis. So perhaps it’s no surprise that over the years, countless members have been celebrated with nicknames, euphemisms, and other honors. Here we’ve decided to assemble a collection of names, euphemisms, and slang for shlongs.

As you’ll see below, we kicked off the collection with some classics, but the fun doesn’t stop there. You see, this initial slang is merely an attempt to get the ball rolling (bad pun totally intended), as we invite you to add some of your own favorite other names for the meat sword. You see, we realize that these euphemisms have enjoyed a long and vibrant history, and we dare not assume that we are capable of chronicling it alone.

Though this list is not for kids or conservatives, we invite those who’d like to celebrate the peen's many aliases to come on in and share the best ones you’ve heard. Together we can assemble a collection nicknames, the likes of which the world has never seen.

1
D*ck is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
D*ck
2
C*ck is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
C*ck
3
Boner is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Keshvar Alikhani added Boner
4
Package is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Package
5
Shlong is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shlong
6
Pecker is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pecker
7
Weiner is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Weiner
8
The D is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Brian Gilmore added The D
9
Semen Demon is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
doug2 added Semen Demon
10
Shaft is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shaft
11
Johnson is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Johnson
12
Weapon of Ass Destruction is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
doug2 added Weapon of Ass Destruction
13
Wang is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wang
14
Joy Stick is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Joy Stick
15
Willie is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Willie
16
Trouser Snake is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Trouser Snake
17
Tube Steak is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
doug2 added Tube Steak
18
Throbbing Jismatic Tool is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
doug2 added Throbbing Jismatic Tool
19
Hairy Meat Whistle is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
doug2 added Hairy Meat Whistle
20
One Eyed Monster is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Monster
21
Dingaling is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dingaling
22
Disco Stick is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
xzerongaming added Disco Stick
23
Pocket Rocket is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pocket Rocket
24
Rod is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Rod
25
Anaconda is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Anaconda