VOTE The Best Slang Terms for Penis  

Christie Buckner
10.5k votes 717 voters 28.3k views 53 items

List Rules Vote for your favorite nickname or add your own.

Although many may refer to the dog as man’s best friend, we know deep down that four legged fur balls will always come in a distant second. The truth is that ever since the dawn of man, guys have been thrilled to discover they own a penis. So perhaps it’s no surprise that over the years, countless members have been celebrated with nicknames, euphemisms, and other honors. Here we’ve decided to assemble a collection of names, euphemisms, and slang for shlongs.

As you’ll see below, we kicked off the collection with some classics, but the fun doesn’t stop there. You see, this initial slang is merely an attempt to get the ball rolling (bad pun totally intended), as we invite you to add some of your own favorite other names for the meat sword. You see, we realize that these euphemisms have enjoyed a long and vibrant history, and we dare not assume that we are capable of chronicling it alone.

Though this list is not for kids or conservatives, we invite those who’d like to celebrate the peen's many aliases to come on in and share the best ones you’ve heard. Together we can assemble a collection nicknames, the likes of which the world has never seen.

1
230 74
D*ck is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
D*ck

2
238 82
C*ck is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
C*ck

3
185 112
Shlong is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shlong

4
166 100
Boner is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Keshvar Alikhani added Boner

5
161 97
Package is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Package

6
154 113
Pecker is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pecker

7
148 119
Weiner is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Weiner

8
148 122
The D is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Brian Gilmore added The D

9
120 113
Joy Stick is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Joy Stick

10
122 116
Wang is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wang

11
140 142
Trouser Snake is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Trouser Snake

12
120 116
Shaft is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shaft

13
127 133
One Eyed Monster is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Monster

14
118 125
Johnson is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Johnson

40 Extremely Weird Slang Terms From The Wild West

15
108 114
Willie is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Willie

16
110 122
Dingaling is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dingaling

17
112 142
Pocket Rocket is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pocket Rocket

18
101 126
Anaconda is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Anaconda

19
100 134
Rod is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Rod

20
62 74
Disco Stick is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
xzerongaming added Disco Stick

21
100 136
Baby Maker is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Baby Maker

The Best Steakhouses in Los Angeles

22
89 136
Tool is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Tool

23
80 121
Dong is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Amy Boal added Dong

24
90 141
(Insert Guy's Name) Jr. is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
(Insert Guy's Name) Jr.

25
79 124
Ding Dong is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Ding Dong

26
46 66
Breakfast in Bed is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
jandjburton12 added Breakfast in Bed

27
67 108
Wanker is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wanker

28
68 122
Member is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Member

The Best Maxim Covers

29
60 109
Mr. Happy is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mr. Happy

30
62 114
Long Dong Silver is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Long Dong Silver

31
66 123
Prick is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Prick

32
63 122
Bologna Pony is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Bologna Pony

33
51 101
Jackhammer is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Jackhammer

34
53 112
Dip Stick is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dip Stick

35
49 109
Unit is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Unit

17 Signs You Are Being Cheated On

36
56 124
Purplethrobbingheatseekingmois... is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
MichaelMoeller added Purplethrobbingheatseekingmoisturemissle

37
47 106
Snake is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Amy Boal added Snake

38
52 121
One Eyed Wonder Worm is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Wonder Worm

39
46 114
Pickle is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Pickle

40
39 107
Hot Salami is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Hot Salami

41
36 106
Jimmy is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Jimmy

42
40 116
Gherkin is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Gherkin

50 Most Common Causes Of Death

43
43 127
Peen is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Brian Gilmore added Peen

44
41 125
The Colonel is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
The Colonel

45
36 113
Lady Killer is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Lady Killer

46
32 119
Hard Drive/ Floppy Drive is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Hard Drive/ Floppy Drive

47
30 116
Alabama Black Snake is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Alabama Black Snake

48
28 114
Piece is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Piece

49
30 125
Purple Headed Soldier is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Purple Headed Soldier

50
26 116
Schwanz is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Schwanz