VOTE The Best Slang Terms for Penis  

Christie Buckner
9.7k votes 587 voters 19.8k views 53 items Embed

List Rules Vote for your favorite nickname or add your own.

Although many may refer to the dog as man’s best friend, we know deep down that four legged fur balls will always come in a distant second. The truth is that ever since the dawn of man, guys have been thrilled to discover that they own a penis. So perhaps it’s no surprise that over the years, countless penises have been celebrated with nicknames, euphemisms, and other honors. Here we’ve decided to assemble a collection of names for dicks, euphemisms for penises, and slang for shlongs.

As you’ll see below, we kicked off the collection with some classics, but the fun doesn’t stop there. You see, this initial slang for dick is merely an attempt to get the ball rolling (bad pun totally intended), as we invite you to add some of your own favorite other names for penis. You see, we realize that penis euphemisms have enjoyed a long and vibrant history, and we dare not assume that we are capable of chronicling it alone.

Though this list is not for kids or conservatives, we invite those who’d like to celebrate the cock’s many aliases to come on in and share the best ones you’ve heard. Together we can assemble a collection nicknames for penis, the likes of which the world has never seen.
list ordered by

1
203 61
Dick is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dick

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2
213 69
Cock is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Cock

3
166 96
Shlong is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shlong

4
150 89
Boner is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Keshvar Alikhani added Boner

5
148 88
Package is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Package

6
143 101
Pecker is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pecker

7
137 109
Weiner is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Weiner

8
133 113
The D is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Brian Gilmore added The D

9
133 130
Trouser Snake is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Trouser Snake

10
121 120
One Eyed Monster is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Monster

11
108 105
Joy Stick is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Joy Stick

12
107 110
Wang is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wang

13
104 109
Shaft is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Shaft

14
103 112
Dingaling is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dingaling

15
106 117
Johnson is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Johnson

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16
97 107
Willie is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Willie

17
96 122
Baby Maker is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Baby Maker

18
103 134
Pocket Rocket is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Pocket Rocket

19
58 63
Disco Stick is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
xzerongaming added Disco Stick

20
92 117
Anaconda is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Anaconda

21
88 127
Rod is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Rod

22
86 131
(Insert Guy's Name) Jr. is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
(Insert Guy's Name) Jr.

23
83 126
Tool is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Tool

24
74 117
Ding Dong is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Ding Dong

25
38 55
Breakfast in Bed is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
jandjburton12 added Breakfast in Bed

26
60 100
Wanker is listed (or ranked) 26 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Wanker

27
67 118
Dong is listed (or ranked) 27 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Amy Boal added Dong

28
57 100
Mr. Happy is listed (or ranked) 28 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mr. Happy

29
63 114
Prick is listed (or ranked) 29 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Prick

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30
56 107
Long Dong Silver is listed (or ranked) 30 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Long Dong Silver

31
60 116
Member is listed (or ranked) 31 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Member

32
49 95
Jackhammer is listed (or ranked) 32 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Jackhammer

33
51 104
Dip Stick is listed (or ranked) 33 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Dip Stick

34
56 116
Bologna Pony is listed (or ranked) 34 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Bologna Pony

35
47 103
Unit is listed (or ranked) 35 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Unit

36
51 113
One Eyed Wonder Worm is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
One Eyed Wonder Worm

37
45 102
Snake is listed (or ranked) 37 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Amy Boal added Snake

38
47 114
Purplethrobbingheatseekingmois... is listed (or ranked) 38 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
MichaelMoeller added Purplethrobbingheatseekingmoisturemissle

39
43 108
Pickle is listed (or ranked) 39 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Pickle

40
36 100
Hot Salami is listed (or ranked) 40 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Hot Salami

41
37 109
Gherkin is listed (or ranked) 41 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Mark Holmes added Gherkin

42
33 102
Jimmy is listed (or ranked) 42 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Jimmy

43
34 106
Lady Killer is listed (or ranked) 43 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Lady Killer

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44
38 118
The Colonel is listed (or ranked) 44 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
The Colonel

45
34 123
Peen is listed (or ranked) 45 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Brian Gilmore added Peen

46
29 113
Hard Drive/ Floppy Drive is listed (or ranked) 46 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Hard Drive/ Floppy Drive

47
26 108
Piece is listed (or ranked) 47 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Piece

48
26 111
Alabama Black Snake is listed (or ranked) 48 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Alabama Black Snake

49
27 118
Purple Headed Soldier is listed (or ranked) 49 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Purple Headed Soldier

50
19 99
Sniper Rifle is listed (or ranked) 50 on the list The Best Slang Terms for Penis
Sniper Rifle