Fans of both astrology and offensive humor, rejoice! With a South Park character based on your zodiac sign, you'll be instantly paired with your inner 4th grader. Even though the show the writers of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, created revolves around a bunch of kids, that doesn't stop them from being dirty, vile, and downright insulting. South Park's controversial jokes take satire to the next level and have helped the show make animated history.
Even though nobody probably wants to be like the degenerate people of South Park, CO, there's a little bit of Cartman's jerkyness or Jimmy's witty humor in everyone. Being a terrible person isn't all bad, though. Sometimes, the awful ideas and unpopular opinions South Park characters share actually make a good point. Join the atrocious misadventures of South Park on a celestial level by letting the zodiac pair you with your own personal, abominable, spiritual, cartoon companion.
When Stan's dad, Randy Marsh, gets involved with pretty much anything, he tends to get completely obsessed. A kindred celestial spirit, an Aries knows no chill. They are the master of accepting challenges; it doesn't matter if they're confronted with inventing a new sport or offered the position as lead singer in a boy-band - they always come out on top.
An Aries is fueled by a fiery, inner passion. Although they rush into every one of their grand ideas without a second thought, they'll stick through with their plan until the very end. Randy has stood by every weird endeavor of his, only abandoning his plot if he goes out kicking and screaming.
According to the zodiac's barreling Bull, Taurus, slow and steady wins the race. Their patience and capacity for other people's nonsense is completely unmatched. Throughout the various seasons of South Park, Token Black has certainly put up with some sh*t - especially from Cartman.
Even though Token can typically brush off his peers' remarks with the patience of a saint, he stands up for himself when he thinks it's necessary. Taurus is a lazy sign, so they'll only make moves if they think their cause is worth it, but, when they do, their moral statutes are unmoving.
Like most mercurial Geminis, Wendy Testaburger isn't afraid to speak her mind. She's witty and resourceful, and she's keen on sharing her knowledge with the world. Working with others is easy, and she's an excellent collaborator, rounding up the children for important meetings on many occasions.
Geminis are symbolized by the Twins. Being a split entity, this zodiac sign is known for its dual personality. While incredibly intelligent, Wendy is also a neighborhood deviant; luckily, she knows how to sneak under the radar.
With a hard attitude on the outside and a gentle soul on the inside, a Cancer puts up a solid barrier to keep their emotions from spilling out all over the floor. Clyde Donovan is definitely both hypersensitive and unstable. His moods are volatile, and he often winds up sobbing after something upsets him.
Clyde tries his best to accommodate everyone, even the most rotten kids in South Park. It's a Cancer's nature to be caring and nurturing, but they can also be cold and distant. Sometimes, a Cancer will take the blame for a bad situation just because they want it to be over.
Soaking up all the glory of the spotlight, a Leo runs laps around their kingdom, gallivanting with pride and reveling in all of the attention they receive. Eric Cartman is bold, brash, and super aggressive. Just like a Leo, his over-assertive attitude and need to constantly be entertained are always paving the way for dramatics.
Too confident to realize he's annoying and rude, Cartman is the king of his own jungle. He doesn't care what others think about anything he does - that is, until he doesn't get what he wants. If he ever thinks he's being left out of something cool or hears the word "no," he's sure to cause a huge fuss.
Everything has to be completely organized in a Virgo's world. If anything is out of line, they'll fall into a full-fledged, overwhelmed freakout. Tweek Tweak is always on the verge of a panic attack. Not knowing how to sort out his own brain, he's a perpetual victim of Virgo's negative traits.
While Virgos are hardworking and dedicated people, they're also easily manipulated since they don't do well under pressure. Tweek usually falls for whatever scheme Cartman is cooking up. Rather than getting overwhelmed and stressed trying to figure out what is really going on behind the curtain, he'd rather just go to his lovely, Virgo happy place.
