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film Special Effects We Wish Were Real  

Giselle Edwards
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How many of us have left the movies disgusted because it was either 100% CGI or just 100% bulls**t? There have been times I left the movies absolutely bitter because I knew the chances of ever having THAT superpower were about the same as a virgin surviving hell. Maybe I'm the lone realist in my universe, but there are several elements in movies I wish to my Holy Creator were reel. Get it? Reel? Nevermind, just read the damn list.
The Iron Giant is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list Special Effects We Wish Were Real
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Giant Metal Bodyguard

(this is actually a really good movie)

I'd like to have a giant metal bodyguard for the following reasons:

To all the girls who picked on me in junior high because I was poor;

To Wells Fargo Financial, for calling me ten times a day for something I didn't even owe anymore;

To every customer who calls up, whining in my ear, with their kids screaming in their ears, with the TV on HIGH;

To every driver who ever cut me off and SLOWED DOWN in the freaking CARPOOL lane;

To news reporters who think Michael Jackson's kids are National News;

To the President of Iran, who says the Holocaust never happened and exhibits more arrogance than France;

To every American who refuses to pay taxes and refuses to exit MY country;

To the director of the DMV, who refuses to overhaul the damn waiting system;

To the creators of reality TV; who have nothing better to do;

To the idiots and assholes in Hollywood, who make millions of dollars just by breathing and who also have nothing better to do;

To all of my friends who aren't reading my lists:

You've been warned.

Also Ranked

#46 on The Best Animated Films Ever

#66 on The Best Movies for Kids

#33 on The Best Movies for Boys to Watch

#10 on The Best Movies of 1999

see more on The Iron Giant
The Lord of the Rings: The Two... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list Special Effects We Wish Were Real
Photo: Freebase/Public domain

De-Aging in 5 Seconds

Women everywhere gazed in jaw-dropping awe as King Theodan went from 90 to 50 in 0.00 seconds. They even called up their plastic surgeons, demanding the same procedure. Unfortunately, WETA couldn't be reached for comment.

This would be an interesting concept because there would be no concept of time. Unless we're only turning back the clock once we get really old and haggard, and simply return to when we looked our best.

In that case, there'd be a heck of a lot of toddlers ruling the world.


Also Ranked

#7 on The Best Movie Sequels Ever Made

#11 on The Best Adventure Movies

#43 on Movies with the Best Soundtracks

#7 on The Best Action Movie Sequels

see more on The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Independence Day is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list Special Effects We Wish Were Real
Photo: 20th Century Fox

Aliens Blow Up the White House

Again, I have a portable toilet and bottled water in my garage. Who's down?

Also Ranked

#24 on The Most Rewatchable Movies

#74 on The Best Adventure Movies

#5 on The Best Alien Movies Ever Made

#2 on The Greatest Disaster Movies of All Time

see more on Independence Day