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'SpongeBob SquarePants' Has An Entire Episode About Sex And You Somehow Never Noticed

Updated April 22, 2019 2.3k votes 520 voters 16.3k views10 items

List RulesVote up the evidence you think supports this theory that a whole SpongeBob episode is, in fact, about intimate times.

If you have ever watched Nickelodeon's hit show SpongeBob SquarePants, you are probably aware that the humor is meant to appeal to all people. Adult SpongeBob SquarePants jokes are mixed in with kidlike quips. Redditor /u/MasterLawler has argued there is a dirty SpongeBob SquarePants episode premised on a metaphor between karate and intimate relations. In the "Karate Choppers" episode from the show's first season, SpongeBob and Sandy Cheeks engage in passionate and uncontrollable karate, and it gets them into a lot of trouble. 

Among many wild SpongeBob SquarePants fan theories, this theory is one of the best since the entire episode is evidence for its cogency. SpongeBob and Sandy want to do karate with each other, they can't stop thinking of doing karate, and they can't stop doing karate; if they could have non-stop karate sessions, they definitely would. If you don't believe it, watch it for yourself. What do you think, is karate a thinly veiled analogy for smashing under the sea, or is the SpongeBob "Karate Choppers" commentary just a bunch of barnacles?

  • 1. They Can't Control Their Urge To Do Karate

    Sandy and SpongeBob try their hardest to get all thoughts of karate out their heads, but everything reminds them of it. They try to make sandwiches, but even this brings about the memory of karate. SpongeBob takes the barnacle loaf out of the picnic basket and chops off the provocative piece of meat. Unaware of the suggestive nature of his moves, he only cuts two slices, but Sandy craves more. She cuts a few more slices and makes SpongeBob aware of her desire. 

    Three slices turn to four, then five, then 10. They chop everything in their vicinity, and can't stop. They karate chop each other everywhere around the park and leave their mark for everyone to see.

    Are you convinced?
  • 2. Sandy Refuses SpongeBob's After-Hours Karate Call And Forces Him To Karate Himself 

    After taking part in an intense karate session, Sandy is home to rest. She's dressed in her pajamas, reading a book, but SpongeBob is ready for a second round. SpongeBob calls her and tries to initiate a karate session with a swift karate chop through the phone, but Sandy rejects him.

    Instead, she takes SpongeBob's hand, sends it back through the phone, and makes him hit himself. She answers, "Nice try," and hangs up the phone. SpongeBob is forced to satisfy his karate cravings himself.

    Are you convinced?
  • 3. Mr. Krabs Fires SpongeBob Because He Thinks Sandy's Unsolicited Karate Is Consensual Karate

    No matter how much you or your coworkers like karate, it's best to maintain a karate-free workplace. After practicing karate in the bathroom, Mr. Krabs warns SpongeBob to stop all the karate. He threatens to fire him because the public display of karate is harming business. SpongeBob takes the threat seriously and doesn't look forward to telling Sandy the bad news. 

    On his way home, Sandy surprises SpongeBob with unsolicited karate chops. He begs her to stop, but Sandy continues to karate chop all around his body. Mr. Krabs sees what's going on and interprets it as consensual. Appalled and angry, he fires SpongeBob.

    To remedy the situation, Sandy tells Mr. Krabs that SpongeBob isn't to blame; she initiated the unsolicited karate session. 

    Are you convinced?
  • 4. SpongeBob Needs Protection For Karate

    At the beginning of the episode, SpongeBob arrives home, and he's sure that Sandy is waiting to surprise him with a karate attack. He looks around his place, but doesn't see her. First, why would Sandy be in SpongeBob's home? Second, why would SpongeBob expect Sandy to be in his house? The most reasonable explanation is they are in a relationship, and Sandy has free access to his home.

    When Sandy finally sneaks up on SpongeBob, they immediately attack each other with karate chops. After a few strikes, SpongeBob asks Sandy to "wait a second," pops off-screen, and reappears with protection in the form of a safety helmet and gloves. Before going into a more intense and heavy round of karate, he winks and says "safety first."

    Are you convinced?