The Best Sports Jokes

Updated June 14, 2019 3.7k votes 1.1k voters 27.2k views25 items

List RulesVote up any funny joke about sports, fans, or athletes

Modern athletes are way too serious. With their strict diet and workout regimens, it’s like they’ve found a way to home run the humor out of their bodies. We here at Ranker think it’s time that they were taken down a peg or two. That’s why we’ve put together this list of funny jokes about athletes and the sports that they love. Whether it’s basketball, football, or soccer (or one of the million other sports that are just okay), there’s a pun or a quick one liner on this list to bring out the laughter in even the most strident of sports fans.

Leper hockey players, super tall basketball dudes, and chicken soccer players, we’ve got them all on this list. And don’t worry, there aren’t any creepy Kobe jokes here. The sports humor we’ve collected on this list is fun for the whole family. Unless your family is a bunch of sports hating nerds, then we’ve got nothing for you. Whatever your favorite sport happens to be, we’ve got a joke on this list that’s sure to turn your baseball brain into a bullpen of laughter. Or maybe they’ll make the little Marv Albert in your brain say “BOOMSHAKALAKA!” with joy. If you find that we didn’t have a joke about your favorite sport, then too bad! Seriously, we blew out the doors on these sports jokes, there’s even a joke about cricket on this list.

Vote on which sports joke you think hits a home run, and leave us a comment if you think any of them struck out.

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1
108
65
What's The Most Depressing Thing About Tennis?
That no matter how good you get, you'll never be as good as a wall.
2
173
127
Why Did Cinderella Get Kicked Off The Baseball Team?
Because she ran away from the ball!
3
179
133
Why Didn't The Dog Want To Play Football?
It was a boxer.
4
132
90
How Did The Basketball Get Wet?
The players dribbled all over it.
5
102
67
Why Do Grasshoppers Not Go To Many Football Matches?
They prefer cricket matches!
6
130
94
What Kinds Of Stories Are Told By Basketball Players?
Tall tales!
7
102
68
How Do Baseball Players Stay Cool?
They sit next to their fans!
8
97
64
What Can You Serve But Never Eat?
A volley ball!
9
141
111
Where Do Old Bowling Balls End Up?
In the gutter!
10
77
60
Why Was Cinderella Such A Lousy Baseball Player?
She had a pumpkin for a coach!
11
69
51
What Tea Do Hockey Players Drink?
Penaltea!
12
77
60
What's a Runners Favorite Subject At School?
Jog-raphy!
13
67
57
What Does A Hockey Player And A Magician Have In Common?
They both do hat tricks.

14
66
68
Why Did The Referees Stop The Leper Hockey Game
There was a face off in the corner.
15
49
48
What Does A Carpenter Have In Common With A Volleyball Player?
They both like to hammer spikes!
16
71
77
How Many NCAA Players Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
One. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
17
51
52
How Many Golfers Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
FORE!
18
45
48
Which Insect Didn't Play Well At Quarterback?
The fumble-bee!
19
43
46
Why Do Managers Bring Briefcases To Away Games?
So they can pack the defense!
20
40
45
Why Did The Chicken Get Sent Off?
For persistent fowl play!
21
42
53
How Do Hens Encourage Their Baseball Teams?
They egg them on!
22
37
53
What Should A Soccer Team Do If The Pitch Is Flooded?
Bring on their subs!
23
33
57
Where Do Religious Children Practice Sports?
On the prayground!
24
22
51
What's A Tennis Players Favorite City?
Volley Wood!
25
21
52
How Does A Physicist Exorcise?
By pumping ion!