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Stewie Griffin Quotes

Updated 14 Jun 2019 2.7k votes 644 voters 74.9k views13 items

Stewie Griffin quotes make us laugh, cringe, and often face-palm as they are uttered by the infant on the popular prime time animated series Family Guy. Though he's just a baby, Stewie certainly has an impressive vocabulary, which he shares with viewers via series creator and lead voice talent Seth MacFarlane.

Stewie Griffin has become a favorite character on the series because of his wise-beyond-his years commentary and snarky comebacks. No one would expect an infant to know foreign languages, yet the youngster is able to demand pancakes in Spanish and French in one episode. No one would expect him to comprehend what harlots do in another episode, yet he knows enough to ask them about any "tread left on their tires."

When he's not off on various adventures with family dog Brian or learning about female anatomy from the dirty magazine's under brother Chris' bed, Stewie Griffin spends much of his time plotting to slay his mother, Lois Griffin. One of his most popular quotes expresses his hatred for the women who gave birth to him when he often utters, "Damn you, vile woman!"

His other go-to lines depend on the situation. "Victory is mine!" for example is his favorite to celebrate an accomplishment, usually of the evil variety, while he uses the exclamation "Blast!" to express frustration and either "say whaaaaat?" or "What the deuce?" to express confusion or remark on a WTF moment.

Like the show itself, the best Stewie quotes are often distasteful and inappropriate but are what keep viewers coming back for more. So what if his head is shaped like a football, he's hilarious and that's why he's loved around the world.

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