• Customer Service & Retail

Jokes Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing

List RulesVote up the most unbelievably stale jokes.

Retail workers, often underappreciated and underpaid, are so over one part of their job: the groan-worthy jokes they hear again and again. Customers, you are NOT kings and queens of comedy. Dunces is more like it.

Someone who works for minimum wage while wearing an unflattering company T-shirt does not necessarily appreciate your attempts at dad-joke humor. A hackneyed quip might be better than the rude, illicit, or scary things customers do that require secret retail codes, but still, those who fancy themselves as store comedians should just pay up and save the retail jokes for someone who hasn't heard them before. Which is no one. 

  • 5

    The One About Demanding A Winning Ticket

    From Redditor /u/kaisawheel:

    Working at a convenience store and selling a lotto ticket: "Make sure it's a winner!"

  • 6

    The One About Asking For Help

    From Redditor /u/01000011:

    [Me:] Would you like any help with packing?

    [Customer:] You can help with paying if you like!

    I normally respond with some variation of, "I wish; I can't even afford my own groceries hahahahahaha," just to make sure they realize what they just asked a minimum-wage retail worker.

  • 7

    The One About Pampered Pet Diets

    From Redditor /u/frostrz:

    I work in pet food retail, where the food typically costs about $60 to $100 per 30-pound bag.

    [Customer:] My dog eats better than I do!

    [Me]: Well, you could always trade.

    Usually shuts people up.

  • 8

    The One About Refusing To Show ID

    From Redditor /u/RadioactiveWalrus:

    [Me:] Can I see your ID, please?

    [Customer:] No, hahaha.

    [Me:] Okay (starting to put item back [on] the shelf).

    [Customer:] Wait, I was just kidding!

    You're not funny, you're wasting my time, and other customers' time, and I don't give a sh*t if you get your cheap vodka or not.