Photo: Superstore / NBC

Jokes Retail Workers Are Tired Of Hearing

Voting Rules
Vote up the most unbelievably stale jokes.

Retail workers, often underappreciated and underpaid, are so over one part of their job: the groan-worthy jokes they hear again and again. Customers, you are NOT kings and queens of comedy. Dunces is more like it.

Someone who works for minimum wage while wearing an unflattering company T-shirt does not necessarily appreciate your attempts at dad-joke humor. A hackneyed quip might be better than the rude, illicit, or scary things customers do that require secret retail codes, but still, those who fancy themselves as store comedians should just pay up and save the retail jokes for someone who hasn't heard them before. Which is no one. 

Photo: Superstore / NBC

  • 1
    251 VOTES

    The 'It Must Be Free' One

    From Redditor /u/Larry2Thumbs:

    "No price tag, so it's free today, right?"

    251 votes
  • 2
    194 VOTES

    The One About Not Being Able To Find A Million Dollars

    From Redditor /u/Youcanthearjimmy:

    [Me:] Is there anything I can help you find?

    [Customer:] Yeah, a million dollars.

    I hated having to smile at every idiot that said this.

    194 votes
  • 3
    174 VOTES

    The 'Working Hard Or Hardly Working' One

    From Redditor /u/gabbiblack:

    The “[Are you] working hard or hardly working?” joke...

    [I]t’s a guaranteed eye roll.

    174 votes
  • 4
    139 VOTES

    The One About Demanding A Winning Ticket

    From Redditor /u/kaisawheel:

    Working at a convenience store and selling a lotto ticket: "Make sure it's a winner!"

    139 votes
  • 5
    184 VOTES

    The One About Printing Fake Bills

    From a Redditor:

    When I used to work on the tills of a large Swedish furniture store and I had to check a stack of notes (especially [$50 bills]), I'd pretty much always hear, "They're fine, I printed them myself this morning, hahaha."

    A polite smile would hide clenched teeth.

    184 votes
  • 6
    142 VOTES

    The One About Asking For Help

    From Redditor /u/01000011:

    [Me:] Would you like any help with packing?

    [Customer:] You can help with paying if you like!

    I normally respond with some variation of, "I wish; I can't even afford my own groceries hahahahahaha," just to make sure they realize what they just asked a minimum-wage retail worker.

    142 votes