Graveyard Shift 15 Supposedly Scary Movie Monsters Any Idiot Could Have Easily Defeated  

Jacob Shelton
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List Rules Vote up the movie monster whose a** you could totally kick.

If you watch a lot of scary movies, you’ve definitely had a moment where you realized you could survive the horror movie that you’re watching. Even if it’s full of scary movie monsters, most horror movies require the victims to be total idiots. Even the scariest horror movies ever made have some very easy to kill movie villains. A lot of horror movies not only require some form of suspension of disbelief, they also need you to believe that every character in the film would act like they had a full frontal lobotomy. People run upstairs, they ask “who’s there” when they hear something move in the woods, and they let creepy little dolls hang out in their homes. No one in their right mind would do this. There are definitely a few horror movies you don’t want to be stuck in but the films catalogued here are the movies films that you could survive using half your brain.

There are some truly terrifying figures in film, however those characters aren’t what you’ll be reading about. This is a run down of every unbelievable horror movie monster and least scary horror movie villain – sorry in advance if your fave pops up at any point. Whether they’re just a guy in a mask, a magical creature, or a creepy little doll these are the movie monsters a kid could fight.

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The Romero Zombies Would Be Outrun In A Heartbeat In 'Night Of The Living Dead'


The Romero Zombies Would Be Ou... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 15 Supposedly Scary Movie Monsters Any Idiot Could Have Easily Defeated
Photo: Night of the Living Dead/The Walter Reade Organization

When looking at George Romero's classic zombie trilogy - Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead - with a modern eye it's hard not to realize the obvious: Zombies are slow. Yes they're deadly in groups and the true villains of these films are other people, but to survive a slow zombie attack all you have to do is wear a comfortable pair of shoes and move at a moderate pace. In the instance that Romero's chomp-y boys come to life you'll have to figure out how to deal with rationing food, lighting a fire, and living without electricity for a while, but you don't have to worry about being bitten by a member of the undead. 

Romero's zombies aren't just slow, they're decomposing at an alarming rate. It's safe to assume that waiting out the zombie apocalypse won't even take that long. When a body is buried in a coffin it can take up to 50 years to decompose. However, if a body is left out in the open - and zombies are nothing if not in the open - it decomposes much faster. If you you find a secure enough hiding space you should be able to sit tight while every zombie on earth decomposes within about a month. Anything that's left after 30 or so days is almost certainly going to be incapable of chasing you. 


Chucky is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 15 Supposedly Scary Movie Monsters Any Idiot Could Have Easily Defeated
Photo: Child's Play/MGM

There are so many problems with Chucky, the evil doll from Child's Play, that it's hard to know where to begin. The most obvious problem with this character is that it's a doll and no one should have a problem fighting a doll regardless of whether it has voodoo powers or not. Magical hocus-pocus is no match for a swift kick across the room. While Chucky may be have the soul of a serial killer, he's also dependent on adults wanting to have a creepy looking doll in their house.

Most of the kills in the first Child's Play occur because the characters don't seem to mind leaving a terrifying doll alone in their home. Would you ever allow a creepy doll like Chucky to be in your apartment for 10 minutes? Of course you wouldn't. And even if the doll managed to find its way into your home all you have to do is smash it with the heaviest book you have. And if you're not into reading, an X-Box One should do the trick. 

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Michael Myers is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list 15 Supposedly Scary Movie Monsters Any Idiot Could Have Easily Defeated
Photo: Halloween/Compass Pictures

Even though Michael Myers has a dominating physical presence throughout the Halloween films, it's that very presence that would work against him in the real world. Myers spends most of the first Halloween film walking around Haddonfield, Illinois wearing a jumpsuit and a Captain Kirk mask spray painted white. If you saw someone dressed like that, Halloween or not, you would get as far away from them as possible and call the police.

Laurie may not have been able to match Michael Myers in a physical fight, but she definitely could have told the police about the creepy weirdo who was stalking her across town and they should have been able to handle it. 

Throughout the films Myers is presented as having preternatural strength and inhuman abilities. For argument's sake let's say that the events of Halloween happen as normal, but now that everyone is aware of the giant masked creep who's immune to bullets you'd think that the police would be extra vigilant - especially when they toss him in a flimsy ambulance. If any character should have received the Hannibal Lecter treatment it's Michael Myers. 

Also Ranked

#17 on The Best Movie Villains of All Time

#8 on The Creepiest Kids in Horror Movies

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Leatherface is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 15 Supposedly Scary Movie Monsters Any Idiot Could Have Easily Defeated
Photo: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Bryanston Pictures

In The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Leatherface and the entire Sawyer family are begging for you to beat them up. Yes they all look creepy, and yes Leatherface is wearing human skin and carrying a chainsaw, but if you spend a few minutes looking at everything else that Leatherface is wearing then you can figure out how to get away from him. He may be almost 7-feet-tall but he's also running through Central Texas underbrush in a polyester suit and cowboy boots. There's no world where this character outruns anyone. Not only are those boots going to keep him picking up any real speed, but they're cumbersome and essentially built to make the wearer trip over something. 

Getting stuck in the Sawyer house is a bad idea, so if you were to run into Leatherface in real life you would want to get outside and try to cover as much ground as possible. Not only does the outside world offer the ability to lose the skin covered baddie in the underbrush - and who knows how well he can even see or breathe in that crazy leather mask - but if you make it to the road there's a good chance that someone's going to hit Leatherface with a truck. This is Texas after all. 

Also Ranked

#63 on The Best Movie Villains of All Time

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