Once you start noticing all of the songs that promote non-consensual sex, you can’t stop seeing or hearing them. There seem to be two or three songs about this very subject released every year, and if you try to understand why this phenomenon exists, you’ll lose your mind and swear off pop music forever. Unfortunately, popular date rape songs are interwoven into the musical landscape, and they exist in every genre that’s played on the radio.
Most of these songs conceal their sexual assault message with infectious grooves and baby talk lyrics, but once you begin to parse through the meaning, it’s hard not to understand exactly what they are about.
The mainstream musical establishment’s treatment of women has been less than stellar. Artists who have been horrible to women are continually lauded in the press and validated with album sales. In some cases of sexual assault songs, it seems like the artist doesn’t even realize they’re normalizing something millions of women face daily.
The amount of music dedicated to singing about getting women drunk in order to sleep with them is staggering. Prepare to never look at these artists the same way again as you read and listen to the songs you never noticed are about date rape.
The Scenario: A guy invited a woman over to his house for Christmas drinks, and now he's finding any excuse possible to keep her locked up in his tasteful brownstone.
How It's Problematic: To put it delicately, a young woman is trying to escape her romantic suitor, who's attempting to force her into staying the night at his place while plying her with alcohol. It glorifies sexual entrapment.
Lyrics That Make It Pretty Clear: "I ought to say no, no, no, sir" / "(Mind if I move in closer?)"
The Scenario: This is one of many "up in the club" tracks that veer wildly into the sexual assault zone. Rather than just being about meeting a woman at a bar and taking advantage of her, it's about using your status as an attractive, charismatic, and rich guy to convince a woman that the person she's dating or just got out of a relationship with, wasn't man enough for her.
How It's Problematic: Assuming you know exactly what someone else wants without asking them, especially regarding sex, is never a good way to begin a relationship. Even if it's just a one-off thing. Pretending the titular "blurred lines" somehow makes this song sexy and fun, ignores the fact that women have to contend with this behavior constantly.
Lyrics That Make It Pretty Clear: "Good girl / I know you want it." Or "Now he was close / Tried to domesticate you / But you're an animal / Baby, it's in your nature / Just let me liberate you."
The Scenario: Everyone is in the club. Yet, this time the Goose is flowing thanks to Jamie Foxx, and young women will be taken advantage of.
How It's Problematic: The lines in this song explicitly state, “I'm going to make you do what you've already said you're not going to do.”
Lyrics That Make It Pretty Clear: "Say she usually don't, but I know that she front / 'Cause shawty know what she want, but she doesn't wanna seem like she easy / I hear you saying what ya won't do, but you know we probably goin' do."
The Scenario: Justin Bieber is trying to figure out what his confusing girlfriend is talking about.
How It's Problematic: Justin sings about being unsure about what it means when a woman says yes even though they want to say no. The song centers around non-consensual sex and demonstrates how this is a common occurrence. It highlights how society views non-consensual sex as a non-issue if the woman says yes even though her actions say no and she is taken advantage of.
Lyrics That Make It Pretty Clear: "What do you mean, when you nod your head, yes, but you wanna say no / What do you mean?"
The Scenario: The singer from the Gin Blossoms shows up at his ex's apartment and thinks she should let him stay the night because he's pretty sure they had great sex at one point.
How It's Problematic: The singer croons about not being in the right mind frame to drive home alone. Thus he expects the women he has been sexually involved with in the past to let him stay the night. He even goes so far as to imply that they could revive their sexual relationship if she lets him stay, all the while trying to guilt her to let him stay. The lyrics showcase how women are manipulated into risky sexual situations.
Lyrics That Make It Pretty Clear: "Tell me do you think it'd be all right if I could just crash here tonight? / You can see I'm in no shape for driving, and anyway, I've got no place to go. / And you know it might not be that bad, you were the best I'd ever had."
The Scenario: In this scenario, Rich Homie Quan is a very popular rapper who everyone knows about. He's so famous, he can steal women with the power of marble-mouthed raps!
How It's Problematic: In this song, the singer raps about "taking" a woman's "cookie" even though she resisted. Basically, it's blatantly discussing sexual assault and glorifying how famous people can abuse others sexually without anyone being able to say much.
Lyrics That Make It Pretty Clear: "Don’t want your ho, just want that cookie from her / She tried to resist, so I took it from her / How are you gonna tell me no? You must not know who I am."
