Bank Teller Is Forced To Greet Customers, And It's Terrifying
From Redditor u/apocolypseamy
I worked as a bank teller. The other tellers were all female. Our Sales & Service Manager expected us to greet customers warmly the second they entered... from across the bank.
"Helloooo thereeee!" "Hiiii!! Welcome to US Bank!"
It was even turned into a competition- when he heard/noticed tellers greeting customers he gave them a 'point' on his tally
My greeting strategy was to wait for initial eye contact after they entered the building and began approaching my window, then say "hello!" in a friendly way, and give a polite little head nod and smile.
This was apparently unsatisfactory. I was talked to because I wasn't bubbly enough. It was pointed out to me how well the other tellers were greeting people walking in, how many 'points' they all had accumulated, and I was told I needed to be more like my female co-workers.
This sounded great in theory, but I am a 6'4" 290lb male and I knew it would be easy to show them the error of their ways.
The next person entering the bank received a bellowing sing-songy "HIIII THEREEEE!!! WELCOME TO US BANKKK" from 60ft away, with a dozen people in between.
To say it startled the sh*t out of everyone in the bank would be an understatement.
I was informed my polite "hello!" & nod would be fine going forward.Funny?
Nosey Security Guard Gets His Just Desserts
From redditor u/stuufthingsandstuff
My coworker, and absolute hero, maliciously complied at security on one of our subcontractor jobs. The customer was a manufacturer for high end electronic components. Security was tight as a small 4" x 6" box could contain $250,000 worth of microchips. Our team was installing equipment in their facility for one week. A security checkpoint had to be passed every trip in or out of the building.
Mr. Security guard, Chad maybe, decided my coworker, Steve probably, was more suspicious than the other 4 techs. So every trip in or out, not only was Steve made to dump his entire contents of his backpack out on the table and go through it, Chad required Steve to show him the last 5 pictures taken on his phone "to prove he wasn't stealing secrets."
This is all fine, except Chad let's everyone else through without any sort of inspection. Steve is trying to stay positive, but obviously this is eating away at him. Steve tries to be overly positive and also a bit snarky with comments like "thank you Paul Blart, for keeping America safe," which busts up the rest of our crew. Then, Steve has the idea that will free him the rest of the week.
Wednesday comes along, Steve is overly scrutinized on our way in as usual. As we head to security at lunch, Steve says he has to go to the bathroom. He comes back out a few minutes later, absolutely giddy.
Chad Blart, mall cop, stops us on our way out and asks Steve to see his camera roll. Steve gladly hands the phone over. Chad is greeted by some very peculiarly angled shots of Steve's butthole.
"What the F@%$?" Chad throws the phone down on the table.
"Oh, sorry. I thought I had a hemorrhoid and wanted to see how bad it was. Is everything ok with my pictures? Is the facility safe?"
Chad never checked Steve's materials again. Good on you Steve.Funny?
"Give The Kid Whatever He Wants" - Careful What You Wish For
From Redditor u/PenNameNeeded
Working at a country club, being paid almost nothing by hour but having 10% of the clients bill given to me, unless they said they weren't paying it. So despite the absurd workload, I took it.
Let me say that this people were loaded, some of the wealthiest folk in the city, spending almost all day eating and drinking while their children would run around or play in the pools. Despite the money the large majority were nice, really respectfull folk, specially the older ones.
One fateful sunny saturday this man comes with his family, let's call him Joe. Joe sits down in the same table as a lot of my regular saturday clients were, a group of older gentleman who ordered beer after beer, and lots of special orders from the kitchen.
Me: "Good day sir, may I take your order?"
Joe: "Sure, bring me a brand X beer, and some ice cream for the kid"
Joe's kid was a young boy around 9 called Billy, who I had seem around the club but never talked to. Joe's wife was Carmen, who just nodded to the husband request, and off I went.
Over the course of the next hour or so, everytime Billy saw me near him, he would just ask me for another ice cream, or a soda, etc. Due to the club's rules I had to go directly to Joe and ask for him to authorize the boy's request. I was only doing my job, and everyone at the table knew that, using my arrival as an excuse to order more drinks. Joe however was getting pretty angry, and around the 8th time I arrived to talk he grabbed me by the arm.
Joe: "I'm trying to have a conversation here, what's the deal now?"
Old man: "He's just doing his job Joe, leave the kid"
Me: "Your son wants..."
Joe: "Listen, just give him whatever he asks you to get okay? Just don't bother me again!"
I look around the take, fuming as Joe let go of me, and see the old man winked at me. Cue malicious compliance.
For the rest of the day, whenever the boy asked for anything I would just give it to him and charge Joe's account. It didn't took long for Billy to realise I wasn't going to his dad and his requests became to escalate. What started as a simple ice cream was now being portions and more portions of loaded fries, sodas and probably more sugar than any kid should eat.
It was already night when Carmen came to me, asking to close their bill. It was monstruous. Joe tried to argue with me and request for the manager, but the rest of the table reminded him of his demand to me.
He was forced by the manager to pay, since there were multiple witness to his orders, and Carmen made him upgrade my share to 15% of their bill "as an apology".
Needless to say, he never treated me rudely again, and the old guys never let him forget that story.Funny?
Ask A Bartender For Bigger Glasses And You Get Bigger Glasses
From Redditor u/wworrall
My parents and I were on vacation a few years back, and hanging out at the Hotel bar. This place was one of those places that was cheap, but everyone who stayed there thought they were better than everyone else. A couple (Male & Female) walked in talking about how "Nice and quaint" the bar looked. They sat down at the table next to us. You were supposed to order your drinks at the bar, then sit down. But since it was a slow night the bartender walked over, and served them.
Bartender - Hi, what can i get you?
Male - What wines do you have tonight?
Bartender - (Reads off wine list)
Female - Ooo, a Rose wine would be just perfect.
Male - Make it two.
Bartender - Sure that'll be $15
Male - We're going to open a tab.
Bartender - Unfortunately we don't do tabs here, you have to either charge it to your room, or pay cash.
He throws his room card on the table.
Male - Ugh, Fine. Charge it to that.
They laugh as bartender grabs the card, and heads back to the bar. Bartender pours their drinks, and brings them back over. The first thing they did was hold up the glasses.
Female - Hmm, these are rather small, do you have any bigger glasses?
Bartender - Unfortunately those are the standard glasses.
Male - Really? We're paying $7.50 a glass, and you're going to get chinsy on us? Surely you have bigger glasses, come on.
Bartender (clearly annoyed) - Ok, I'll go check.
He went to the bar, and came back out with two glasses that I think were supposed to be for margaritas, but were atleast twice the size as the wine glasses. He held them up for them.
Bartender - How are these?
Female - Oh, those are perfect.
Male - Yes, thank you.
So bartender puts the bigger glasses on their table, then takes the smaller glasses and dumps them into the bigger glasses.
Bartender - is there anything else I can help you with?
They didn't say anything, just sat there dumbfounded.
Bartender - Great.
My parents and I start losing it. We tried not to laugh, but we were all a bit inebriated I guess. Bartender looked over at us and smiled. My Dad gave him an extra $10 tip and said "Thanks for the laughs" Don't f*ck with the people who serve your drinks lolFunny?