Taxi drivers are opening up about how weird people can be in the back of their car. If you don't want to be on their list of the worst taxi passengers, you might want to read these taxi driver stories and avoid making the same mistakes as these people. Check them out and vote up!
- 15 VOTES
Had To Take Care Of A Lost, Drunk Man
From Redditor u/shomenee:
I drove the day shift for a few years, so I didn't have to deal with a lot of drunks. That changed one day. An older gentleman got in with the help of a friendly stranger. I asked him where he was headed and he mumbled something I couldn't understand. This guy was sh*thoused and alone, too drunk to even remember his address.
After a few minutes trying to grasp the new language this man had created, I learned he had to go to the ATM first. I take him across the street to another bar with a cash machine right inside the door. I hop out and pretty much have to carry the guy inside. All heads turn to watch our entrance.
I stand him at the ATM and take a step back. Miraculously, the drunkard can walk again. He performs a sideways grapevine shuffle up to the bar, and sits down. I say, "There is no way you are getting served. Everyone saw me carry you in here."
He looks me dead in the eye, puts his pointer finger up to his lips, and lets out a "SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Everyone nearby bursts into laughter and I leave. He's someone else's problem now.
A couple of fares later I see a tiny crinkled-up piece of paper in the passenger seat. I open it up and there is an address written on it. This guy had been prepared to get too drunk to talk, but had forgotten to hand me the address. I often wonder what happened to him.
- 25 VOTES
Took Care Of A Regular Until He Passed
From Redditor u/jasrenn2:
Had a regular; we'll call him "Johnny" (RIP). He was from Virginia and had a hard-to-understand accent when he was sober; when he got drunk you could make out one word in 10. The first time I picked him up he was getting kicked out of the bar and it took me about 10 minutes to interpret where he was going. It was a bit of a trip and I couldn't understand a damn thing he said (and he never stopped talking), except he would occasionally say "waka waka waka" (like Fozzie from the Muppets). I helped [him] into his house and he gave me what I consider to be a ridiculously big tip. Started calling me on a regular basis but couldn't always pay the fare, but I had a soft spot for the guy. Got to know him a bit and learned to interpret his speech. One time he called me up from falling in a ditch breaking his glasses and not knowing where he was (I love a good mystery). He was a disabled Vietnam vet and got a pretty big check every month, so he'd pay his bills and then go party. Like walk in the bar literally with two2 fists full of hundreds, and if it lasted three days it was a good month.
I started grabbing the hundred-dollar tips and the money that straight up fell out of his pockets in the cab and put it in an envelope and wrote "Johnny's bank" on it ,and would use it to pay myself the rest of the month/spot him some cash/ pick him up some groceries/settle the odd bar tab. Eventually, he just started putting a grand in the bank every month. (I always worried one of his relatives would find out; it would have looked bad.) He always talked about wanting to move back to the country in Virginia but was kind of stuck. His son had some property and his " bank" had enough for a plane ticket, so off he went. He called me up a few months later and said he was doing good. Been sober for a month and happy to be home. A few months after that I heard he passed...
- 36 VOTES
Tried To Save A Drunk Unclothed Swimmer
From Redditor u/jasrenn2:
The story comes from another cabbie but I know the passenger. The drunk girl who lives in the boonies gets close to home and asks the driver to pull over near a lake. She gets out of the car and starts taking off her clothes.
"What are you doing?
"Going skinny dipping!"
The driver feels that she was drunk enough that swimming is not a good idea and tries to reason with her to no avail. This story ends with him on a quiet road wrestling a drunk undressed girl into the car. while praying nobody drives by.
- 46 VOTES
Watched An Uncomfortable Breakup From The Front Seat
From Redditor u/librlman:
An uncomfortable breakup. The girl was kicking a cheating guy to the curb after finding out he'd been unfaithful with some of her (former) friends. It started with picking them and two of his buddies up from a bar. Dropped one guy off at his house. Then dropped second buddy off at the cheater's house. [Girlfriend] insisted [on being] dropped off at her own place, with the dumpee alternating between trying to patch things up enough to at least get laid one last time and trying to justify his past behavior. Finally had to drop off a newly single jerk back at his (parents') place. More than a solid hour of cringeworthy uncomfortableness.
- 56 VOTES
The Passenger Wanted To Seduce The Driver But It Went Wrong
From Redditor u/hafgrimm:
[M]y wife drives mornings sometimes; I usually drive afternoon/evenings on weekends. She comes home after driving an hour or so - says the last ride was college dude, hungover but chatty. A few minutes later her phone goes off; he left his sweater in the car. *I* go to take it back. It would seem that Mr. Chatty was wanting to be more than a little friendly with the female driver as he answers the door glistening with water from the shower, a very small towel around his waist, and a big smile. He froze like a deer in the headlights [with] me - 6'4", 265-pound half-bearded dude - standing out front. I can tell from his shocked looks that this isn't what he was expecting. His roommates were laughing their [butts] off at this point. I just smiled and winked at him and in my deepest rumbling voice said, "You forgot your sweater there, big boy..."
- 66 VOTES
Someone Pooped In The Car
From Redditor u/justwonderingiftrue:
My pops is a cab driver in Toronto... So he picked up a passenger and was driving them somewhere and they were having a conversation when the passenger stopped responding. My dad wondered what happened, but didn't ask or look back. And then about 30 seconds after it went silent, a smell hit him HARD. He turned around to the passenger tensed up and relieving himself. My pops couldn't believe it. He just stopped the cab told the guy to get out and laughed about it. He had to take the weekend off so that he could take his car to a cleaner and get it cleaned, fumigated, freshened... But he didn't care; he found the whole situation hilarious and laughed away the weekend.