• Culture

The Funniest Teacher Jokes

List RulesVote up any funny jokes about teaching or teachers.

Students and teachers alike will laugh at this list of teacher jokes, puns, and one-liners until they have to stay after the bell. Sharpen up your number 2 pencils, write your name on your Scantrons, and get ready for this hilarious list of jokes about teachers.

If there’s one thing that we wish school had less of, it’s teachers. Well, we guess it would actually be homework, and then teachers - but you get it. In order to put them in their place, we created this list of jokes and silliness about teacher stereotypes, foibles, and idiosyncrasies.

If you’re a teacher, we hope these jokes don’t hurt your feelings. After all, we’re just joshing. Those of us that have to put up with all your rules and homework need something to cut loose. We’re sure you can sympathize, and we know that you’ll have as much fun as the students when you read these funny teacher jokes. And if not, please don’t send us to the principal. We’re too pretty to survive in juvie.

Vote up your favorite jokes about teachers in the gut-busting list below. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest jokes for teens!

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  • 1
    999
    567

    What's the Difference Between a Teacher and a Train?

    The teacher says "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Chew, chew!"
  • 2
    461
    291

    What Do You Say to Comfort a Grammar Teacher?

    "They're, there, their."
  • 3
    781
    523

    Why Do Teachers Fart in Class?

    Because they're not private tooters.
  • 4
    363
    233

    Why Did the Teacher Write on the Window?

    Because the the lesson needed to be clear.
  • 5
    379
    244

    What's a Teacher's Favorite Nation?

    Expla-nation. 

  • 6
    635
    426

    Why Did the Music Teacher Need a Ladder?

    To reach the high notes!
  • 7
    515
    366

    What Do You Call a Teacher Without Students?

    Happy.
  • 8
    270
    185

    What's a Math Teacher's Favorite Sum?

    Summer!
  • 9
    327
    235

    How Is a Teacher like a Judge?

    They both give out sentences.
  • 10
    257
    204

    Time Is a Great Teacher...

    Unfortunately it kills all its students.
  • 11
    505
    423

    Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher Fired?

    Because they couldn't control their pupils.
  • 12
    230
    199

    Why Did the Teacher Wear Sunglasses in Class?

    Because the class was so bright.
  • 13
    167
    149

    Why Did the Teacher Marry the Janitor?

    Because he swept her off her feet! 
  • 14
    114
    150

    Where Does a Math Teacher Eat Dinner?

    At a multiplication table!
  • 15
    135
    180

    What Do You Get When You Cross a Teacher and a Vampire?

    Lots of blood tests.
  • 16
    92
    155

    Why Wasn't the Geometry Teacher at School?

    Because they sprained their angle!
  • 17
    92
    156

    What Kind of Food Do Math Teachers Eat?

    Square meals.
  • 18
    70
    123

    How Does a Math Professor Propose to His Fiance?

    With a polynomial ring! 
  • 19
    85
    152

    Why Did the Teacher Jump into a Lake?

    To test the waters!
  • 20
    81
    148

    What Does a Math Teacher Do about Constipation?

    He works it out with a pencil.
  • 21
    72
    139

    What Do You Call a Music Teacher with Problems?

    A very trebled man. 
  • 22
    114
    219

    What's the Difference Between a Teacher and a Large Pizza?

    A large pizza can feed a family of four.

  • 23
    52
    127

    Why Do Chemistry Professors Enjoy Teaching about Ammonia?

    Because it's basic material. 
  • 24
    58
    145

    What Kind of Tests Do Witches Take?

    Hex-aminations.
  • 25
    51
    134

    Where Do Door Knockers Get Educated?

    The school of hard knocks.