Teachers The Funniest Teacher Jokes  

Jack Napier
2.5k votes 1.1k voters 15.6k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up any funny jokes about teaching or teachers.

Students and teachers alike will laugh at this list of teacher jokes, puns, and one-liners until they have to stay after the bell. Sharpen up your number 2 pencils, write your name on your Scantrons, and get ready for this hilarious list of jokes about teachers.

If there’s one thing that we wish school had less of, it’s teachers. Well, we guess it would actually be homework, and then teachers - but you get it. In order to put them in their place, we created this list of jokes and silliness about their foibles and idiosyncrasies.

If you’re a teacher, we hope these jokes don’t hurt your feelings. After all, we’re just joshing. Those of us that have to put up with all your rules and homework need something to cut loose. We’re sure you can sympathize, and we know that you’ll have as much fun as the students when you read these funny teacher jokes. And if not, please don’t send us to the principal. We’re too pretty to survive in juvie.

Vote up your favorite jokes about teachers in the gut-busting list below. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest jokes for teens!

1
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Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher Fired? Because they couldn't control their pupils.

2
124 109
What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Teacher and a Train? The teacher says "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Chew, chew!"

3
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Why Did the Music Teacher Need... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Music Teacher Need a Ladder? To reach the high notes!

4
74 61
Why Do Teachers Fart in Class? is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Do Teachers Fart in Class? Because they're not private tooters.

5
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Time Is a Great Teacher... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Time Is a Great Teacher... Unfortunately it kills all its students.

6
41 35
Why Did the Teacher Write on t... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Write on the Window? Because the the lesson needed to be clear.

7
37 31
How Is a Teacher like a Judge? is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
How Is a Teacher like a Judge? They both give out sentences.

8
57 54
What's a Teacher's Fav... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's a Teacher's Favorite Nation? Expla-nation. 

9
50 47
What Do You Say to Comfort a G... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Say to Comfort a Grammar Teacher? "They're, there, their."

10
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What Do You Call a Teacher Wit... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Call a Teacher Without Students? Happy.

11
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Why Did the Teacher Wear Sungl... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Wear Sunglasses in Class? Because the class was so bright.

12
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What's a Math Teacher'... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's a Math Teacher's Favorite Sum? Summer!

13
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What Do You Get When You Cross... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Get When You Cross a Teacher and a Vampire? Lots of blood tests.

14
27 27
Why Did the Teacher Marry the ... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Marry the Janitor? Because he swept her off her feet! 

15
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What Do You Call a Music Teach... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Call a Music Teacher with Problems? A very trebled man. 

16
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What Kind of Food Do Math Teac... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Kind of Food Do Math Teachers Eat? Square meals.

17
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Where Does a Math Teacher Eat ... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Where Does a Math Teacher Eat Dinner? At a multiplication table!

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Why Wasn't the Geometry Te... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Wasn't the Geometry Teacher at School? Because they sprained their angle!

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What's the Difference Betw... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Teacher and a Large Pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

20
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What Does a Math Teacher Do ab... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Does a Math Teacher Do about Constipation? He works it out with a pencil.

21
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How Does a Math Professor Prop... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
How Does a Math Professor Propose to His Fiance? With a polynomial ring! 

22
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Why Did the Teacher Jump into ... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Jump into a Lake? To test the waters!

23
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Why Do Chemistry Professors En... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Do Chemistry Professors Enjoy Teaching about Ammonia? Because it's basic material. 

24
15 29
Where Do Door Knockers Get Edu... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Where Do Door Knockers Get Educated? The school of hard knocks.

25
16 34
What Kind of Tests Do Witches ... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Kind of Tests Do Witches Take? Hex-aminations.