Culture

The Funniest Teacher Jokes  

Jack Napier
7.4k votes 3k voters 51.2k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up any funny jokes about teaching or teachers.

Students and teachers alike will laugh at this list of teacher jokes, puns, and one-liners until they have to stay after the bell. Sharpen up your number 2 pencils, write your name on your Scantrons, and get ready for this hilarious list of jokes about teachers.

If there’s one thing that we wish school had less of, it’s teachers. Well, we guess it would actually be homework, and then teachers - but you get it. In order to put them in their place, we created this list of jokes and silliness about their foibles and idiosyncrasies.

If you’re a teacher, we hope these jokes don’t hurt your feelings. After all, we’re just joshing. Those of us that have to put up with all your rules and homework need something to cut loose. We’re sure you can sympathize, and we know that you’ll have as much fun as the students when you read these funny teacher jokes. And if not, please don’t send us to the principal. We’re too pretty to survive in juvie.

Vote up your favorite jokes about teachers in the gut-busting list below. After you are finished, head on over and vote on the funniest jokes for teens!

list ordered by
1
What's the Difference Be... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Teacher and a Train?
The teacher says "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Chew, chew!"
2
Why Do Teachers Fart in ... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Do Teachers Fart in Class?
Because they're not private tooters.
3
What's a Teacher's Favor... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's a Teacher's Favorite Nation?

Expla-nation. 

4
Why Did the Teacher Writ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Write on the Window?
Because the the lesson needed to be clear.
5
What Do You Say to Comfo... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Say to Comfort a Grammar Teacher?
"They're, there, their."
6
How Is a Teacher like a ... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
How Is a Teacher like a Judge?
They both give out sentences.
7
Why Did the Music Teache... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Music Teacher Need a Ladder?
To reach the high notes!
8
Time Is a Great Teacher.... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Time Is a Great Teacher...
Unfortunately it kills all its students.
9
Why Was the Cross-Eyed T... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher Fired?
Because they couldn't control their pupils.
10
What Do You Call a Teach... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Call a Teacher Without Students?
Happy.
11
What's a Math Teacher's ... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's a Math Teacher's Favorite Sum?
Summer!
12
Why Did the Teacher Marr... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Marry the Janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet! 
13
Why Did the Teacher Wear... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Wear Sunglasses in Class?
Because the class was so bright.
14
What Do You Get When You... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Get When You Cross a Teacher and a Vampire?
Lots of blood tests.
15
What's the Difference Be... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What's the Difference Between a Teacher and a Large Pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

16
Why Wasn't the Geometry ... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Wasn't the Geometry Teacher at School?
Because they sprained their angle!
17
What Kind of Food Do Mat... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Kind of Food Do Math Teachers Eat?
Square meals.
18
Where Does a Math Teache... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Where Does a Math Teacher Eat Dinner?
At a multiplication table!
19
Why Did the Teacher Jump... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Did the Teacher Jump into a Lake?
To test the waters!
20
What Do You Call a Music... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Do You Call a Music Teacher with Problems?
A very trebled man. 
21
How Does a Math Professo... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
How Does a Math Professor Propose to His Fiance?
With a polynomial ring! 
22
What Does a Math Teacher... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Does a Math Teacher Do about Constipation?
He works it out with a pencil.
23
Why Do Chemistry Profess... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Why Do Chemistry Professors Enjoy Teaching about Ammonia?
Because it's basic material. 
24
What Kind of Tests Do Wi... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
What Kind of Tests Do Witches Take?
Hex-aminations.
25
Where Do Door Knockers G... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Funniest Teacher Jokes
Where Do Door Knockers Get Educated?
The school of hard knocks.