17 People Describe Things They Did As Teens They'll Never, Ever Tell Their Parents About

From Redditor /u/findtheninja:

In high school my mom was really broke. Me and my sister lived with her, and we had recently moved into a house with my mom's new boyfriend. He had been such a cool guy until we all moved in together. He stopped paying his share of rent and utilities, and my mom (who was and still is woefully underpaid) was covering everything herself, including food for the whole house, all of our phone bills, and her car payments/insurance...

Winter came along and the temperatures dropped below 30 degrees Celsius. Mom worked mornings and her boyfriend refused to drive us anywhere before noon, so we had to figure something out. My dad decided to step in... and drive my sister to school. She was in grade 10 and had decided to stay at the same school... I wanted a change and went to a closer school - still a 20- to 30-minute walk, but far closer than hers. The winter was sapping my energy and making me sick on my long walks to and from school...

Mom got me a bus pass. She saved up and spent $100 on it for four months of busing. It was so much easier than walking and made my life so much better... (I had a medical issue with my testicles, walking was getting pretty hard... but that's another story.) The part that I'll never tell her? I lost [the bus pass] within a week. I cannot figure out how; maybe it was stolen or it fell out of my wallet on the bus... I was so sad and felt so unbelievably guilty...

I kept my schedule the same and left when I normally would to catch the bus, but instead of busing I turned down a side street and rushed as fast as my half-frozen legs and balls would go without killing my stamina. I barely made it to my classes on time for four months... When the pass would have expired, I was surprised one morning to find a new one left out for me.

My mom put money away each paycheck for all that time because she thought the bus meant so much to me. It was very touching and I thanked her, gave her a kiss on the head, and acted like it was normal. I still feel so wrong about it... And I don't ever want to tell her.

She tried so hard for me, and I just want her to feel like a great mom, because she deserves it.

From Redditor /u/tonysbeard:

My senior year of high school I snuck out of the house at like 2 am to get some. My parents were a little psycho and put bells on the front and back doors. You know, in case of burglars. But they didn't put them on the laundry room door, which led to the garage. The garage had a side door in it that led outside. So obviously that was my way out.

The problem with that side door is that it's a bit hard to tell when it's locked since you can always get out but not necessarily back in. So, me being stupid... just assumed it was fine and went along my merry way. Did the deed, then when I tried to get back in I found the door locked. Sh*t.

I tried every other possible entrance. All locked. But I had my phone and an idea so crazy it just might work. I called my mom and in my best helpless daughter voice cried, "Mommy, I woke up in the front yard and the door is locked! I'm so scared!" She came right out and got me.

I mumbled something about sleepwalking. Then she made me waffles since I was so distressed. My mom still tells the story at family get-togethers. I now have a reputation as a crazy sleepwalker.

From Redditor /u/jemmeow:

Rushing out of church to be sick with food poisoning when I was 14. Lots of people consoling me and being driven home early.

I was very, very hungover.

From Redditor /u/HalfDragonShiro:

Was trying to convince my dad to buy me a new computer for college. He doesn't exactly like the fact that I play video games due to the Asian/Middle-Eastern mentality of "Study till you die," but I'd been doing it for so long he begrudgingly accepted it after realizing it wasn't just a phase. However, he made it clear that he would only buy a computer for the express purpose of helping me get a computer science degree (shocker, right?).

Unfortunately, he wasn't tech-savvy at all. So I searched online stores until I found a laptop that I wanted to replace my old sh*tty one with. It was an $800 Asus gaming laptop with middle-of-the-road specs for the time.

There was no way he would ever buy me a laptop that was built for the express purpose of gaming. So I used Inspect Element to replace all instances of the word "gaming" on the product page with the word "studying" and made sure not to reload the page when showing it to him (it would change the words back into gaming). It worked, and within one week I got my new "Studying" computer.

From Redditor /u/NeedsMoreTuba:

I'm not proud of this (anymore), but after I realized that my parents had stashed all the liquor behind the washer and dryer, I totally started taking a few shots here and there. Once my friends found out I had access to my parents' redneck liquor cabinet, we overdid it one weekend at the beach. And I panicked because this time I KNEW my parents would notice.

But I also had to pee, and there were no public restrooms at that beach. So I went behind a sand dune and peed in a fast food cup, then poured it back into my dad's mostly empty rum bottle. Drunken Teenage Logic decided that I'd had enough rum that day, that I had just been "borrowing" it from good ol' Dad. So I gave it back.

I'll never know if my parents used the rum for anything, but what I can say for sure is that they attended a party every January and brought their own homemade "brew," which was part rum.

TL;DR: I'm pretty sure I let my parents drink my pee.

From Redditor /u/xxthenoodlexx:

The night I snuck out, stole the family truck, and drove 25 miles to lose my virginity.

My dad thinks it's hilarious, but [my] mom will NEVER know.