If you thought you'd heard some wacky things come out of the mouths of Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann, you weren't at all prepared for the Madness of Christine O'Donnell.O'Donnell seems to lack something of a filter, which was maybe not aces for her political career, but is great if you're the sort of person who likes nutty political quotes. And I am just that sort of person. O'Donnell's clearly motivated by her deeply-felt religious beliefs to share these sort of unpopular convictions, and on one level, you have to respect that. Well, I don't, but hey, maybe you do. More power to you.
Christine O'Donnell on Witchcraft
"I dabbled into witchcraft. I never joined a coven, but I did it. I was a witch… I hung around people who were doing these things. I'm not making this stuff up.
"One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn't know it. I mean, there's a little blood there and stuff like that… We went to a movie and then had a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar."
One thing witches feel very strongly about: if you're having a picnic on a Satanic altar, always leave it in better condition than when you found it. Nothing is more irritating than when you come to a Satanic altar and some thoughtless person has left dirty napkins and beer cans just lying around. Have some respect for Satan, y'all.Plus, "there's a little blood there"? Was that typical of Christine O'Donnell's first dates?
Christine O'Donnell on Masturbation
"My name is Christine O'Donnell and I'm the president and founder of S.A.L.T. S.A.L.T. stands for the Savior's Alliance for Lifting the Truth. We choose sexual purity in our lives. We have God-given sexual desire and we need to understand them and preserve them to be used in God's appropriate context... If he already knows what pleases him and he can please himself, than why am I in the picture?"Remember, only use your God-given sexual desire in the appropriate context. For example, it would be INAPPROPRIATE to lasciviously watch the Paul Verhoeven film "Showgirls." That is not as God intended. Instead, lasciviously watch the Paul Verhoeven film "Basic Instinct," which has more of a plot and isn't quite as poorly acted, so God finds it less degrading. See how easy that is?
Christine O'Donnell on Homosexuality
Even by O'Donnell's standards, calling homosexuality an "identity disorder" is kind of extreme. She makes it sound like gay people are stuck in a psychological thriller. They're walking around, see someone of the same gender that looks kind of hot and... eek! Cue tense string music and wonky camera angles!It's not even a bit more likely that they're just like everyone else except they find people of their same gender attractive? No? Has to be like "United States of Tara," only still happening? That's the only logical explanation? Should I keep writing rhetorical questions, or have I made my point? Thoughts?
Christine O'Donnell on Piers Morgan
"Don't you think, as a host, if I say 'This is what I want to talk about,' that's what we should address?... I'm being pulled away. We turned down another interview for this."
This is O'Donnell telling talk show host Piers Morgan how she thinks he should do his job. Wouldn't political talk shows be so much better if the hosts just asked the guests whatever they'd like to be asked?
The backstory: O'Donnell appeared on Morgan's CNN show on the evening of August 17, 2011, to discuss her book, "Troublemaker," and ended up walking out on the interview halfway through. OK, first she called Piers Morgan "rude," which under normal circumstances would not be terribly crazy. But in this particular instance, he wasn't really being rude so much as asking questions about "Troublemaker" and doing his job as a talk show host.Morgan pressed O'Donnell about some of her views on gay marriage and the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy of the US military, which she refused to answer on the grounds that she was there to talk about her book. Even though she DOES discuss her views on this issues in her book. Which is just confusing. She then noted that she had turned down other interviews to appear on Piers' show, evidently hoping that he'd realize the error of her ways and beg her to come back and not talk about her book some more. Then she left.