Here are the most bizarre moments in sex ed videos from a time when adults had nothing better to do than carry around diagrams of genitals and invade the personal boundaries of children. Nowadays I feel as though the kids learn on their own, which is a bit of a sad reality. The mainstream culture is filled with sex, which makes it hard for kids not to see and learn things at much younger ages. We've come along ways from the ancient sex beliefs, which are pretty outrageous.
The Intro to Your Parents' Sex Advice Videos *Shiver*
This is terrifying for a few reasons.
1. These are the VHS videos that we would find in our parents' cabinets while spying around looking for what? What could we POSSIBLY have found that would've benefited us other than cigarettes, maybe? What?!
2. This is the intro for a sex advice video for adults who've possibly never touched other adults.
3. The music. This is like the music you'd find at a planetarium where the seats move.
The fact that we don't get the XXX video also makes it even worse; mostly because it leaves us with our imaginations.
You're the Guy Who Said Gonorrhea Was No Worse Than A Cold
The video's only about 30 seconds long and features the angriest doctor anyone has ever seen taking the drunk-father approach to teaching and yelling at kids for getting STDs.
We're not even sure that the doctor gave these kids any treatment for their Gonorrhea, but we're pretty sure they all got a prescription for wise cracks.
How Does It Get Hard?
Now we have a poor boy being taught how his penis gets hard with pictures to accompany the lesson. What makes this bit worse is them sitting on a scuzzy couch in what appears to be the man's basement.
This whole thing will make you more uncomfortable than anything else would for at least a month. The cringe-worthiness is accentuated by the fact that the diagram shows the male erect penis looking longingly at the stars, defying the laws of gravity and how often the guy asks the kid if his penis is ever hard.
Shake it off! Shake it off! Next...