The Stoic Single Tear
This particular method of crying is best used for public situations that become very emotional. Examples of this include: the death of a family member, the death of a beloved pet, and spilling your beer at the hockey game. The hurt may be welling up inside of you but you're a man and you're only going to let it show by putting on a rock hard face and allowing the flow of a single tear.This is also known as The Will Smith Cry as evidenced by his employment of this in a unique situation (being homeless and trying to provide for his son) at 04:00 in the attached clip.
The Retreat to the Other Room to Get a Beer Cry
Let's say you're conducting your fantasy football draft with a bunch of buddies at your house when you get a call from your boss telling you that you've been fired. You've got a wife and two kids to support and you have a buddy who's been out on the job market for six months now. It's going to be a rough haul and you're feeling pretty shaken up.
The best thing to do? Just laugh as you put down the phone, get up from your chair, burp loudly and declare that you're going to go get a beer, offering to bring one back for any bitched that's thirsty as well. Once you've gotten out of hearing distance from the room your friends are in, let those feelings well up and allow the tears to flow.Only allow a minute for this to occur so as to not raise suspicion, put some Clear Eyes eye drops in your eyes, grab those beers from the fridge (checking to see if the pictured mountains are blue) and finish your draft like the man you are.