From Halo to Super Mario Bros all video games have non-playable characters. NPCs serve their purpose in filling out a world that would otherwise be void except for the hero and his foes. They make it seem like a living and breathing place, and just like the real world, video games sometimes provide us with jerks, idiots, and just plain nuisances. These are the worst NPCs in video game history (well, some of them).
NPCs are put into games to provide the player with goals outside of the main storyline. These side quests can be anything from a simple run and fetch, to a horrific mission fraught with peril for nothing more than a few gold coins. Some NPCs are worthwhile and provide a welcome respite in the middle of the game, some you even grow to care for. Then there are the rest.
Whether they are floating balls with irritating voices or followers that can't seem to put one foot in front of the other let alone fight off hordes of the undead, these are some of the most pathetic NPCs in the history of video games.
The Balloon Kid - 'Spider-Man 2'Buy at
As the video demonstrates, even this kid's parents can't stand being around him for very long.
Widely considered one of the worst side quests in a game consisting mainly of crappy, recurring side quests, Balloon Kid is so needy that it borders on supervillainy.
Spidey is such a nice guy, not only does he take the time out between beating up evildoers and saving the city to find this idiotic kid's balloon (which really, balloons cost like a dollar), but he puts in quite a bit of effort. Of course by the 30th balloon one must wonder why these parents are wasting their money on this whiny little brat.
Navi - 'Ocarina of Time'Buy at
If you have ever played Ocarina of Time then you know this character. You are walking along, having a great time doing whatever and then you you hear it. "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey!" "Hey! Listen!" coming from a floating ball of light, that you can't get rid of no matter how fast, or how far you run.
That irritating floating orb is Navi, and she is probably the most annoying guiding character/NPC in video game history.
Well, a lot of it - and largely because of what this character does to fairies, conceptually. Remember when fairies were a good thing in Zelda games past? You catch one and keep it around for a quick heal up. You find a glen of fairies and they increase your health. Wouldn't it be nice to have one around you all the time to help you out? Sure, if that's what she did. Instead she just yells at you like the worst back seat driver. What is so important that she is screaming at you? Could be a monster or epic weapon, though it is probably just a hidden rupee in a bush.
The Nintendo 64 was a huge upgrade from the Super Nintendo, but Navi made a good case against having voices in Zelda games.
Slippy Frog - 'Star Fox'Buy at
Why would Fox keep Slippy around? There have to be other choices for mechanics in the universe that don't involve a whiny frog in a trucker hat. They're in space ships, possibly in oxygen-free atmospheres, and he's in a trucker hat.
In the original Star Fox game all the dialog was text based, which made Slippy's stupid banter endurable since you could just skip through it without more than a simple croak.
Once they got more advanced, and gave voice to the character, you have to wonder why they chose to go with probably the most irritating voice imaginable. It's not even the voice actors, it's the way they choose to convey his absolute, unbridled cowardice coupled with his horribly jarring enthusiasm.
It's like they specifically designed the character to inspire the player to consider killing a teammate rather than listen to another annoying "Nooooo!"
He may as well be saying "Snake! Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!"
Sticky - 'Fallout 3'Buy at
Sticky is just a normal kid growing up in the harsh barren lands of a post-apocalyptic Earth. But he's a piece of sh*t. Oh yeah, it's also his birthday. He's a grown man now, so he has to find his way to the big city. (Well, Big Town that is.)
But too bad there is no one out there to give him a hand. Oh, wait. You will? Wonderful.
These types of missions are bad enough to begin with. You usually have to take a weak character on an aggravatingly long path, through terrain infested with the hardest monsters the game designers can throw at you, all whilst making sure that the person who you're guarding doesn't bite it. What makes this case even worse is that Sticky is an annoying little jerk who won't shut his mouth.
Sure you can load him up with weapons and armor, but that won't stop him from telling you the story about the robot hero. Over and over and over and over again.
You can ask him to stop, but he won't. You can even try to convince him to shut up, but if you fail, hope you like having everything you say repeated, because that's what he will do for the rest of the trip.
It's not really the monsters you have to worry about eliminating Sticky. It's you.
If you do make it through the journey without giving in to the urge to disembowel him, Sticky will either get himself blown up on mines scattered around the entrance to Big Town, or he will survive and then stiff you on the caps he owes you anyway.