• Total Nerd

The 13 Greatest Cats in Video Game History

Kitties! Here is this list of the greatest cats, cat women, and even cat men in video games. I have no idea why I wrote the following list. I think the event involved a lot of booze, some sort of hallucinogen, and a possibly a misdemeanor. I'm not really sure as I can't remember much of the last week. This is probably just an excuse to put the Cheetahmen onto a list. Anyway, enjoy it while I go get myself a lawyer.

What are the greatest cats in video games? This list should answer that question.

Check out more lists like Favorite 80s & 90s Childhood TV Game Shows, Cutest Pets in Video Games, Best Kid's Cartoons
  • 1

    Felicia (Darkstalkers)

    Video: YouTube

    Felicia is the definitive Cat-Woman in videogames. You think "Cat" and you think "Woman" and stick them in a context of "video game" and BOOM! Felicia comes up. If it's an image search, probably there's some hentai in there. If it's on Youtube, you're bound to see way too many "tribute" video featuring the Darkstalker's tail section. Probably none of it will feature hairballs.

    Also available on youtube when combined with Felicia? AMVs, like this . And hilarious examples of why the US should never, ever, ever, attempt to outdo Japanese animation with a Japanese franchise like Darkstalkers, as seen here .

    So Felicia's obviously pretty popular if she became the main character in a terrible spin-off cartoon that had absolutely no budget for writers or animators. But who is she really?

    Well, she's from the Darkstalkers (or is it Vampire?) fighting game series. She was raised in an orphanage, and she's a catgirl who wants to become famous. Yup, that's it. No terribly deep back story filled with pathos and inner turmoil and a reason to fight off every demon she encounters whatsoever. She's pretty much just eye candy without much depth. So why is she so damn popular? Even so much as appearing in the soon to be epic Marvel VS Capcom 3?

    She's a furry fanboy's wet dream!

    Combining all of the sexuality of a spunky, precocious woman, and . . . cat. OK, maybe there actually isn't ENOUGH fur on her for those guys and gals who prefer such things, I think? I mean it's really hard to tell. Is Felicia a litmus test of sorts? If she turns you on, are you normal, or totally going to Cleveland in a fuzzy body suit next year?

    Even if said body suit wouldn't exactly be all that bad . . .

    Plus, is Felicia even a real "catwoman"? I mean sure, she's described as such, and looks the part, but is that even a real thing?

    The Dark Stalkers/Vampire Hunter/Night Warrior series (seriously, they need to settle on a name), is full of various monsters and myths that generally have some resemblance to CLASSIC myths and monsters. There's a mummy, a werewolf, a Frankenstein-like golem, a cursed suit of armor, a zombie, a succubus, and a vampire. All of these are classics and instantly recognizable, or at least fit into the context, and a huge chunk of them are basically Universal Monsters direct off the studio tour.

    But a Cat person? Sure it's big in Japan (what isn't?) but it really doesn't have the same history or pedigree as anything else in the first game. I often wonder if Felicia isn't actually a completely crazy fangirl dressing up as a monster in order to get attention. That explanation would fit into her back story (if not her movelist), just as well as the nebulous "she's a cat girl!" explanation she actually has.

    Plus that explanation would make her a lot more like Catwoman, but WAY more crazy. But hell, I'd prefer Felicia as our standard of Crazy Cat lady to this one:

  • 2

    Snowflake (Dead Rising 2)

    Video: YouTube

    I think it's time for a REAL cat to get on here. But which one . . . *processing*


    OK yeah, Snowflake wins.

    In the recent Dead Rising 2, you found yourself controlling Chuck Greene as Las Ve- I mean Fortune City was destroyed by a zombie outbreak. Fortune City has all of the entertainments one would expect of a gambler's paradise, including rock bands, lounge singers, 24-hour chapels, and even Magicians! Of course, where there are flamboyant magicians, there are bound to be tigers! Snowflake is just such a tiger.

    You meet Snowflake after his handler Ted knocks Chuck out and attempts to feed the rampaging motocross star to the ravenous animal, since all of the Zombie's meat "isn't fresh". Though Mr. Greene tries to reason with Ted, it's to no avail, and soon enough you've got an armed semi-retarded animal handler, a 600-pound wild animal, and still a s**t-ton of Zombies all gunning for your delicious meats at the same time.

    It's a pretty awesome boss battle. But it get's a little bit better.

    You see, if you've been paying attention, you realize that Snowflake isn't really all that interested in killing you, the poor baby's just hungwy. So, look around some nearby kitchens for some food and feed it to him, and soon enough he's purring at your side.

    That's right, Snowflake will then proceed to wander around with you as your companion. And it. Is. Amazing.

    Getting drunk and raining death around Fortune city with your motherf**king tiger is pretty much too cool for words. Which is why when I was playing this game I often ended up resorting to audible nonsense: I was enraptured in awesome levels too high for most normal men.

    Oh, and you can even give Snowflake to Chuck's Daughter as a present. Sooooo cute!

    Irresponsible as all hell considering she's like 10, and yet another strong indicator that the universe wants Katie Greene dead, but cute nonetheless.
  • 3

    Ratchet ( Ratchet and Clank)

    Video: YouTube

    OK, the only reason Ratchet is this low is that technically he's an alien.

    He's a VERY Bobcat like alien called a "Lombax". While "Lombax" sound like it belongs in a Dr. Seuss story about the racist fears of your parents (Guess Which Lombax is coming to Dinner?), he's actually pretty capable. Ratchet has a degree in in f*ture engineering, wields some pretty nasty weapons and hangs around with his little robot buddy while saving the universe.

    Sure, Ratchet started out as a fairly annoying, whiny, Furtard in the original game, but by the sequel, Going Commando , he actually turned into a character that could be easily liked, and seemed very competent. I think he developed into a pretty cool guy. eh kills aleins and doesnt afraid of anything...

    So while it was Captain Quark or Clank who usually stole the show as the series progressed, it was Ratchet we played as the most, and who often had the best guns.

    For being the straight-man to so many great jokes, appearing in some very polished and fun little games, and being the hero to so many a planet . . . Ratchet, we salute thee!

    Now get yourself on dancing with stars man! With those moves you'll be famous!
  • 4

    Evil The Cat (Earthworm Jim)

    Video: YouTube

    Why did I not put Evil the cat at number six? It's a bit too obvious really.

    Ruler of the planet Heck, which in no way resembles hell for legal reasons, Evil the Cat is the purrrfect example of how to make a cat a villain while still retaining their cattiness.

    The level he appears in is pretty damn annoying, and you have to navigate a bunch of crap to reach this bitched. Then, when you do, he cheats! He takes away your super suit, leaving you as a Worm who can only jump around like a pogo stick, while he fires flaming hairballs at you from a secure location. If this boss battle wasn't so damn easy (seriously, you just jump the fire) I'd call shenanigans on this darn cat.

    Once you dodge all his fire, it destroys his platform and you again get access to Jim's super suit. Then you proceed to completely work your way through Evil's nine lives while he tries to jump you from off-screen.

    Such a petty, nasty, cheating boss.

    But even with all his lives gone, Evil the Cat continues to show up. He pesters you in Earthworm Jim 2, and had a very memorable turn on the old Earthworm Jim cartoon show.

    But really it's his side-stepping, flanking, backstabbing, pouncing methods that get Evil here. Because that's exactly how a cat fights damn it!

    Also, his hairball are made of fire. That's got to be worth something.