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The Greatest 'Simpsons' Religion Jokes

Updated April 11, 2019 2.1m views13 items

The longest-running animated show in the history of television has always had a tradition of sticking it to organized religion. It's shows like The Simpsons that have enough of a cultural impact to be able to satirize and bring to light some of the most important issues we face today. So, in all their poignant glory, here are all the greatest, funniest, and most memorable anti-religion jokes in the history of The Simpsons as one of the best shows on television.

What are the greatest Simpsons religion jokes? Take a look here and you'll discover some of the best ones on the show, ranging from jokes about Christians, to creationist jokes, to even funny atheist jokes. The Simpsons always nails it on jokes in general. 

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  • Superintendent Chalmers

    Photo: Fox / Amazon / Fair Use
  • The Church Signs

    Photo: Fox / Amazon / Fair Use

    Throughout The Simpsons series, establishing shots outside of a scene in the church have featured the church sign. Every church sign's marketing copy is another chance for the writers to poke a little fun at the institution of the church or just to have fun at what might be some inappropriate things to post at a church.

    Here's what was featured on some of the most notable church signs in the show's history:

    God, the original love connection
    Every Sunday is super Sunday
    Today: what a f iend we have in God, Also: the Be sharps
    Private Wedding, Please worship elsewhere
    No Shoes, No Shorts, No Salvation
    God welcomes his victims
    No synagogue parking
    Next Sunday: the miracle of shame
    Christ Dyed Eggs For Your Sins
    Todays Topic: There's Something About the Virgin Mary
    If You Were a Pastor, You'd Be Home Now!
    Welcome Pissed-Off Catholics
    No Outside Eucharist
    God: The Original Tony Soprano
    Housewarming Party: Let There Be Light Beer
    We Welcome Other Faiths (Just Kidding)
    Rapture Threat Level: ORANGE
    Today: Bobble-Head Moses Giveaway
    QUIT ST3ALING OUR L3TT3RS
    Christmas Service Jesus: 2005 Years Young
    Today's Topic: Jesus Hates You
    Today: Church Council Meeting Topic: Religion
    Funeral Today: Homer Simpson's Vegas Wife
    Thou Shalt Turn Off They Cell Phone
    Today's Topic: Jesus The Real American Idol
    Shadrach, The Other Friend of Meshach
    Free Wi-Fi During Sermon
    Get Your Ass In Here, Tim
    Tomorrow: Bart's Funeral

  • The Creationism Episode

    Photo: Fox / Amazon / Fair Use

    This entire episode is a gem. The bulk of the episode is joke after joke after satire of Creationism. Little by little, the episode tears away at any logic that is usually associated with Creationism and exposes every facet of the argument against evolution and the religious right's attempts to hide the science from the world. Masterfully done in a pointed, biting, yet still hilarious and not aggressive fashion at all.

    The entire thing starts with this wonderful scene of Ned Flanders taking his two sons, whom he raises as very far right fundamentalist Christians, to a museum only to find it filled with nothing but scientific relics of history. And the rest of the episode gets even better. This episode, as a whole, is one of the greatest criticisms of Creationism in television history.

  • 'Good Thing We Came To Our Senses'

    Photo: Fox / Amazon / Fair Use