Offbeat The 7 Craziest "Sex Toys Used As Weapons" Stories  

Greg Stopera
244.1k views 7 items

From trying to bomb an ex-girlfriend with a rigged vibrator, to violently throwing d***os at police officers, these are the seven craziest stories about real people in the news using sex toys as weapons, be it intentionally or accidentally. More than anything else, this list is a collection of cautionary tales (for people who own sex toys) that all come down to the same lesson: just like dangerous weapons aren't toys, toys, then, also shouldn't be used as dangerous weapons. Why? Because it's insane, and, believe it or not, you're not The Joker.

What are some of the craziest sex toys? For starters, you wouldn't have expected the items on this list to be used as weapons, yet they were. Whether intended or not, these caused a world of pain.

The Pipe Bomb Dildo Revenge

Terry Allen Lester must have had some pent up feelings after breaking up with his girlfriend. Clearly. So, instead of meeting for coffee and talking it out with her like they do in fairytales, he decided to send a vibrator over to her as a gift... a vibrator rigged to be a pipe bomb.

Lester expertly placed gun powder, BB shot and buck shot from shotgun shells into a black and red wire that connected to a trigger with a battery port (in case you were wondering about the recipe -- you're welcome.) Lester thought this out extremely well, actually -- at least from a mechanical engineering perspective.

Apparently, though, Lester let it slip that he was planning to bomb his ex-girlfriend to his former roommates (as ya do) and then proceeded to tell them about how he would pull the trigger once she inserted the loaded vibrator.

His little creations also weren't that hard to find when the cops arrived at his home because he actually left behind some bags -- one of which contained a box marked "Christmas Gifts." The lethal vibrator Lester had prepared was pink and, being the hopeless romantic that he is, he had the words "Merry X-mas bitch" written on it with black marker.

Lester faces 10 years behind bars and a $20,000 fine if convicted. And he will never work in sex toys again.


Drunk Dine-n-Ditcher Assaults Cop With A Strap On

Carolee Bildsten was in a crabby mood on November 9, 2010.

She went to Joe's Crab Shack for dinner and decided to skip out on the restaurant bill, probably due to the fact that she'd just eaten a lot of crab and felt that something was fishy about it.

The servers recognized her as she'd done something similar there before, so they called the cops. When an officer found the 56-year-old drunk and lying on the grass in front of the restaurant, he accompanied her home to retrieve the cash for her meal tab.

That was his mistake.

She opened her dresser drawer pretending to fetch the money and instead whipped out a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" that was six inches long and was attached to a nylon harness which means that yes, she was planning on using something that looks like a medieval torture device (a strap on) to administer some modern day torture of her own on the unsuspecting police officer.

She struck the officer with it once before he knocked it out of the way, realizing it was more gross than life-threatening. There were no injuries but along with her charges of public intoxication and theft of services, then, Bildsten also received an additional assault charge for assaulting an officer with a strap on d***o.


This Is Why Guns and Sex Toys Should Never Mix

Call me old fashioned, but I believe that what's done in the privacy of one's bedroom should be kept to the privacy of one's own home and then uploaded immediately to the internet for all to enjoy at their leisure.

You know you've got some geniuses on your hands when they're using loaded guns as sex toys, and the "bedroom" is more of a sex dungeon than anything else. A man named LaValle was convicted for manslaughter after accidentally shooting a man in the head during a sex party.

Here's how it went down:

LaVallee apparently met the victim, Fred Wilson, on the internet and arranged a meeting between them and another person James Pombriant at Wilson's South Portland house. Party time.

Wilson was a computer programmer who spent large amounts of money on a 10x10 sex game room in his basement filled with leather pants, leather chaps and sex toys. However, the most thrilling sex toy the three men used in their 12-hour long sex and drug-ridden party was LaVallee's handgun which they took turns putting into their anuses and mouths, just like the user's manual to any American made handgun says to do.

At one point in order to intensify his own pleasure, Wilson asked LaVallee to put the gun to his head and pull the trigger, and though LaVallee claimed to have checked whether the revolver was loaded multiple times throughout the night, he forgot to check one time. Wilson was shot in the head and died that night on April 18, 2009.

LaVallee-Davidson face at least four years and at most 30 years in prison for their one night of sexual fantasy, torture and supervillain-like behavior.


Pain Over Pleasure, Toying With A Saber Saw

Sometimes a couple needs to mix it up in the bedroom. You know, try some new things. Naturally, this Maryland couple decided that it was time to start using some toys here and there -- awesome, right? Right! But, who wants to pay for sex toys? Nobody. So, logically, they decided to start using a tool that is able to cut holes in thick plans of wood and entire walls... on the woman.

A Maryland couple learned of the power of a Saber Saw the hard way in March 2009 when they experimented with a device they made for themselves, which involved attaching a sex toy to a saber saw blade. To really drill in the point, the sex play took a gruesome turn when the saw cut threw the plastic toy while the man was using it on his female partner, which ended up... well, she was...

Four words: Internally. Shred. To. Pieces

The woman had to be taken to the hospital in a helicopter and suffered severe internal injuries.

That's right. Just imagine that. And that is more than enough about this story... Oh yes, the woman lived.