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The Best Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Movie Quotes

The best Ace Ventura: Pet Detective quotes make you realize how great the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while. Let's rank the greatest quotes from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, with the help of your votes. Starring Jim Carrey and Courtney Cox, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was directed by Tom Shadyac and released in 1994.

What is your favorite Ace Ventura: Pet Detective quote? One memorable line was when Ace said, "Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... porking his wife!" Another great line from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is, "What the...that's it. That's it. Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn! Einhorn is a MAN! OH MY GOD! EINHORN IS A MAN?!" spoken by Ace.

Vote up your top Ace Ventura: Pet Detective quotes, regardless of which character they come from.


  • 1


    Ace: Oh, there is just...one more thing, Lieutenant. This lady heard a scream, isn't that right?
    Lady: Yes.
    Ace: And this gentleman says he opened this door, correct?
    Man: Yeah.
    Ace Ventura: You're certain you had to open this door!
    Man: Yeah, I'm certain.
    Lois Einhorn: What's the point, Ventura?!
    Ventura: Only this... This is double-paned soundproof glass! There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut! The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony, and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes! Yes! Oh, yeah! Can ya feel that, buddy? Huh?! Huh?! Huh?! I have exorcised the demons! This house is clear. Losers?
    Einhorn: GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
    Ventura: LOSERS! Leh-hew, ze-hers!


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  • Photo: user uploaded image

    He Found Captain Winky

    Einhorn: Shoot him! SHOOT HIM!
    Emilio: Hold your fire! Don't shoot.
    Melissa: Put your guns down or this cop gets it. I mean it!
    Emilio: She's not joking!
    Einhorn: HE KIDNAPPED SNOWFLAKE! He killed Roger Podacter, and he was just about to kill Dan Marino and ME!
    Ace: Oh-ho-HO! Fiction can be fun! But I find the reference section much more enlightening. For instance: if you were to look up professional football's all-time bonehead plays... you might read about a former Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a twenty-six yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. What you WOULDN'T read about is how Finkle lost his mind and was committed to a mental hospital, only to escape and join the police force under the assumed identity of a missing hiker, manipulating his way to the top in a diabolical scheme to get even with Dan Marino whom he blamed for the entire thing!
    Aguado: What the hell are you talking about?
    Ace: SHE'S NOT LOIS EINHORN! She's Ray Finkle! She's a man!
    Einhorn: He's lying...SHOOT HIM!
    Ace: Let's see who's lying, shall we? Would a real woman have to wear one of these? Boy, that's really on there! But tell me this... would a real woman be missing these?That kind of surgery can be done over the weekend! But I doubt he could find time in his... busy schedule... to get rid of big ol' Mr. Knish! Heh heh...oh, boy.
    Dan Marino: Psst, Ace... come here.
    Ace: Would you excuse me for just one second? Ladies and gentlemen... my esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friends, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids. I HAVE EVER SEEN! THAT'S why Roger Podacter is dead! He found Captain Winky!!


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  • Photo: user uploaded image

    Now Kiss And Make Up

    Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how you gonna solve that one?
    Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's dick and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... porking his wife!
    Aguado: Why, you
    Ace: Now, kiss and make up.


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  • 4

    Is That The Tank

    Roger Podactor: Who's he?
    Melissa Robinson: Roger Podactor, meet Ace Ventura. He's our pet detective.
    Podactor: Nice to meet you, you were highly recommended by Martha Metz.
    Ace Ventura: Martha Metz? Oh, yeah, the bitch.
    Podactor: What?
    Ventura: Pekingese, hyperactive, lost in Highland Park area. She was half-dead when I found her. Is that the tank? Excuse me. 


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