The Best 'As Good As It Gets' Quotes

As Good As It Gets quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from the romcom As Good As It Gets as determined by you and your votes. Directed by James L. Brooks, As Good As It Gets starred Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall, a misanthropic author; Helen Hunt as Carol Connelly, a waitress and single mother; and Greg Kinnear as Simon Bishop, an artist. In the story, the three characters form an unlikely friendship after Simon is assaulted in a robbery. Released on December 25, 1997, the tagline for As Good As It Gets was "Brace yourself for Melvin." Nicholson won the 1998 Oscar for Best Actor and Hunt won for Best Actress; Kinnear was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal.

What are the best As Good As It Gets quotes? Do you like the famous exchange between Melvin and Carol: "You make me want to be a better man." / "...That's maybe the best compliment of my life"? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Vote for your top As Good As It Gets quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list.

  • Color Me Racist
    Video: YouTube

    Color Me Racist

    Simon Bishop: Have you seen Verdell?
    Melvin Udall: What does he look like?
    Simon Bishop: My dog. You know, my dog with the adorable face? Don't you know what my dog looks like?
    Melvin Udall: Oh, I got it. You were talking about your dog. I thought it was the name of that colored man I've been seeing in the halls.
    Simon Bishop: Which color was that?
    Melvin Udall: Uh . . . like thick molasses, with a broad nose. Perfect for smelling trouble and prison food.
  • Shushing
    Video: YouTube


    Melvin Udall: Oh, now I'm pissed! Now, I am really pissed!  Oh! Don't touch! Don't touch!
    Frank Sachs: Sh! Sh!
    Melvin Udall: Don't touch.
    Frank Sachs: Shut up!
    Melvin Udall: Don't.
    Frank Sachs: You think you can intimidate the whole world with your attitude, but you don't intimidate me. I grew up in hell, home boy! My grandmother had more attitude.
    Melvin Udall: Police! Donut-munching morons! Help me! Help me!
    Frank Sachs:  Sh!
    Melvin Udall: Help me!
    Frank Sachs:  Stop it! Sh!
    Melvin Udall:  Assault and battery, and you're black!
    Frank Sachs: I like Simon! I like him enough to batter you unrecognizable if you verbally abuse him or so much as touch that dog again. Meantime, I'm gonna think of some way that you can make it up to him.  I hate doing this! I'm an art dealer.Have a nice day.Okay! Party!
  • Metaphors and Shampoo
    Video: YouTube

    Metaphors and Shampoo

    Woman at table: I said, "You love me the way you do your remote control as long as I switch every time you press one of my buttons."
    Man at table: That's great! That's terrific--
    Melvin Udall: People that talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch.  Eat up.
  • As Big As Your Noses
    Video: YouTube

    As Big As Your Noses

    Melvin Udall: How much more you got to eat? Appetites aren't as big as your noses, huh?
    Woman at table: What?
  • Charm On Full Blast
    Video: YouTube

    Charm On Full Blast

    Melvin Udall: How old are you?
    Carol Connelly: Hah!
    Melvin Udall: If I was gonna guess by your eyes, I'd say you were 50.
    Carol Connelly: If I went by your eyes, I'd say you were kind. So, so much for eyes. But as long as you bring up age, how old are you?
    Melvin Udall: Oh, no, no, no, I mean not -
    Carol Connelly: I mean, 'cause you brought it up.
    Melvin Udall: In other words -
    Carol Connelly: No, I'm curious if you brought it up.
    Melvin Udall: In other words, you're not - not that you're ugly, that's not what I'm saying.
    Carol Connelly: Easy, easy, pal. I can take the compliment, but my knees start knocking when you turn on the charm full blast.
  • OC Appointments
    Photo: user uploaded image

    OC Appointments

    Melvin Udall: Hi. Help!
    Dr. Green: If you want to see me, you will not do this. You will make an appointment.
    Melvin Udall: Dr. Green, how can you diagnose someone as an obsessive-compulsive disorder and then act as though I had some choice about barging in?
    Dr. Green: There's not going to be a debate. You must leave.
    Melvin Udall: You said you could help me! What was that? A tease?
    Dr. Green: I can help you if you take responsibility to keep regular appointment -
    Melvin Udall: You changed the room around.
    Dr. Green: Two years ago. I also regrew my beard, but you're not interested in changes in me. So, it's like I always -
    Melvin Udall: Sh. I don't have this mountain of available time. I have to get to my restaurant on time. Now, do you know how hard it was for me to come here?
    Dr. Green: Yes.
    Melvin Udall: Thank you.
    Dr. Green: No, we're not doing this now.
    Melvin Udall: I changed just one pattern. You always said I should.
    Dr. Green: No. Nope.