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The Best 'A Christmas Story' Quotes

Updated November 7, 2019 531 votes 53 voters 1.5k views13 items

The best A Christmas Story quotes make you realize how great the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while. Let's rank the greatest quotes from A Christmas Story, with the help of your votes. Starring Melinda Dillon and Darren McGavin, A Christmas Story was directed by Bob Clark and released in 1983.

What is your favorite A Christmas Story quote? One memorable line was when Schwartz says, "I TRIPLE-dog-dare ya!" Another great line from A Christmas Story is, "It, it t'was... soap poisoning!" spoken by Ralphie.

Vote up your top A Christmas Story quotes, regardless of what character they come from.


  • Photo: MGM


    Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
    Ralphie as Adult:  Only I didn't say "fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the Queen-Mother Of Dirty Words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
    Mr. Parker:  WHAT did you say?
    Ralphie: Uh, um...
    Mr. Parker: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
    Ralphie as Adult:  It was all over - I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.

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  • Photo: MGM

    Triple Dog-Dare You

    Flick: Are you kidding? Stick my tongue to that stupid pole? That's dumb!
    Schwartz: That's 'cause you know it'll stick!
    Flick: You're full of it!
    Schwartz: Oh yeah?
    Flick: Yeah!
    Schwartz: Well I double DOG-dare ya!
    Ralphie as Adult:  NOW it was serious. A double-dog-dare. What else was left but a triple-dare-you, and finally, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare.
    Flick: You guys are real dumb.
    Schwartz: I TRIPLE dog-dare ya!
    Ralphie as Adult: Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple-dare-you and going right for the throat!

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  • Photo: MGM

    Put Your Arms Down

    Randy: I CAN'T PUT MY ARMS DOWN!!!
    Mrs. Parker: Well, put you arms when you get to school.


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  • Photo: MGM

    You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

    Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] "C+"?! Oh no! It couldn't be!
    Ralphie: "C+"?
    Ms. Shields: C+! C+!
    Ralphie as Adult: Oh no! "You'll shoot your eye out?!"
    Ralphie: Oh no.
    Ralphie as Adult: My mother must've gotten to Ms. Shields! There could be no other explanation!!
    Ms. Shields and Mrs. Parker: You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!

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