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The Best Dazed and Confused Quotes

Updated July 13, 2020 31 votes 14 voters 17.3k views22 items

Dazed and Confused quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from the coming-of-age film Dazed and Confused as determined by you and your votes. Written and directed by Richard Linklater, Dazed and Confused focused on the last day of school for several teenagers in Texas. The year was 1976. Released on February 10, 1994, the tagline for Dazed and Confused was "Weed rules." The cast of Dazed and Confused is notable for some of the future stars it features in smaller roles, including Oscar winner Matthew McConaughey.

What are the best Dazed and Confused quotes? Do you like Wooderson's line, "All right, all right, all right"? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Vote for your top Dazed and Confused quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list. Looking for more great writing and quotes? Be sure to also check out our list of other great shows and movies like Dazed and Confused.

  • Best Not
    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
    Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
    Mike: What?
    Tony: I can't say.
    Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it’s not a bad start.
    Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything. [pause] Well, best not to think too deep on it.
    Mike: Best not.
    Tony: Look, I'll see you later.
    Mike: See you later. [shaking his head] Sorry.
  • The Professor Is Sexy
    Video: YouTube
    Kaye: You know, you guys were in class trying to list all the Gilligan's Island episodes without even a hint of irony.
    Shavonne: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
    Kaye: You weren't thinking about it, were you?
    Shavonne: Gilligan's Island?
    Kaye: It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy.
    Shavonne: Oh my...
    Kaye: Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One a seductive sex-godess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all, the madonna and the whore. Women get nothing; we get a geek, an overweight middle-aged guy, some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
    Jodi: The professor... is sexy.
  • I'd Be A Lot Cooler If You Did
    Video: YouTube
    Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
    Mitch: No, not on me, man.
    Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you did.
  • They Stay The Same Age
    Video: YouTube
    Wooderson: I've been thinkin' about gettin' back in school, though, man.
    Dawson: What, like, J.C. or something like that?
    Wooderson: Yeah, man, that's where all the girls are right? But I'd just as soon keep workin', though, keep a little change in my pocket. Better than listenin' to some dipshit, doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about, anyway!
    Dawson: I know what you're talkin' about, man!
    Wooderson [to Mitch]: So, you're a freshman, right? Tell me, man, how's this year's crop of freshman chicks lookin' this year?
    Dawson: Wood, you're gonna go to jail very soon, man!
    Wooderson: Naw, man. That's what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age.
    Dawson: Yes, they do.
    Wooderson: Yes, they do.