The Best 'Elf' Quotes 

Movie and TV Quotes
Updated January 27, 2020 913 votes 215 voters 21k views 22 items

The best Elf quotes are those hilarious one-liners as Buddy, a human raised by elves, journeys from the North Pole to New York City to meet his dad. The comedy film was directed by Jon Favreau using a screenplay by David Berenbaum. Spreading Christmas cheer for all to hear, Elf opened in theaters on November 7, 2003.

In Elf, Buddy (Will Ferrell), a 30-some-year-old human who was raised as an elf at the North Pole, learns one day at Santa's Workshop that he is not an elf, rather a human who was abandoned as a baby. Santa (Ed Asner) explains that his father, who is on the naughty list, is Walter Hobbs (James Caan) who lives in New York City. Distraught, Buddy leaves Santa, Papa Elf (Bob Newhart) and his other North Pole friends to journey to the magical land of New York City.

But things are not as cheery as Buddy had hoped in the big city. While he does meet his father, his father's wife (Mary Steenburgen) and a half-brother (Daniel Tay), Buddy soon finds himself ill prepared for the real world. Thankfully, he does make one friend, a young woman who shares his affinity for elf culture, Jovie (Zooey Deschanel). But when Santa arrives in New York City and needs Buddy's help, Buddy finds out that his unique set of skills are something to be proud of.

Elf is just one of several great Christmas films from throughout the years and a favorite of fans everywhere. What's your favorite Elf movie quote? Don't be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins, vote for your favorites all right here!

You Sit on a Throne of Lies
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Buddy: Yeah, Santa! It's me, Buddy! It's me!
Gimbel's Santa: Hey, Buddy. How are you doing?
Buddy: Santa, it's me... Who the heck are you?
Gimbel's Santa: What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus.
Buddy: No, you're not!
Gimbel's Santa: Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa: Um, "Happy Birthday" of course! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. So, uh, how old are you son?
Kid with Santa: Four.
Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
Kid with Santa: Paul.
Gimbel's Santa: And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Paul, don't tell him what you want. He's a liar.
Gimbel's Santa: Let the kid talk.
Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, zippy!
Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not kiddin'.
Buddy: You're a fake.
Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
Buddy: Yes!
Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh?
Kid with Santa: Fake?
Gimbel's Santa: No, he's kidding.
Buddy: You stink.
Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don`t smell like Santa.
Gimbel's Santa: OK.
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Cotton Headed Ninny Muggins
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Video: YouTube
Buddy: Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toymaker in the world! I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
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I Didn't Know You Had Elves Working Here
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Buddy: Dad, I'm in love, I'm in love & I don't care who knows it!
Walter: Buddy, not now. Can you please go back to the pit? I'll come visit you in a little while, okay?
Buddy: I didn't know you had elves working here!
Miles: Oh, boy. You're hilarious, my friend.
Walter: He doesn't... Get back to the story, please.
Miles: So, on the cover, above the title...
Buddy: Does Santa know that you left the workshop?
Miles: You know, we're all laughing our heads off.
Buddy: Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?
Walter: Buddy, go back to the basement.
Miles: Hey, jackweed. I get more action in a week than you've had in your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris & Vail, each one of them with a 70-inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over and smack it off! You feeling strong, my friend? Call me elf one more time!
Buddy: He's an angry elf... Look at you... Ow, hey, wha? I wasn't ready for tha... Whoa!
Miles: Call Me elf one more time! Call Me elf!
Buddy: You're an elf.
Walter: Miles, I'm sorry. He thinks he's an elf.
Miles: Nobody bites Miles Finch. 
Walter: Listen, Miles. Listen, Miles. 
Buddy: He must be a South Pole elf.
Walter: You get the hell out of here.
Buddy: Where do you want me to go?
Walter: I don't care where you go. I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're NUTS! I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE MY SON! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!! NOW!!!!
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Smiling's My Favorite
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Video: YouTube
Buddy: Wow, what's this?
Gimbel's Manager: This is the North Pole.
Buddy: No, it's not.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
Buddy: No, it's not.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
Buddy: No, it isn't.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
Buddy: No, it's not. Where's the snow? 
Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite!
Gimbel's Manager: Make work your favorite. That's your favorite, okay? Work is your new favorite.
Buddy: Fine.
Gimbel's Manager: It's time for an announcement. Okay, people! Tomorrow morning, 10 A.M., Santa Claus is coming to town!
Buddy: SANTA!!!!! Oh my god! Santa here? I know him! I know him!
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