10.6k readers

The Best Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle Quotes

Updated September 8, 2020 10.6k views35 items

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from the stoner comedy Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle as determined by you and your votes. The 2004 film follows Harold Lee (John Cho) and Kumar Patel (Kal Penn) as they attempt to reach White Castle after smoking some marijuana. Released in the summer of 2004 on July 30, the tagline for Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle was, "Fast Food. High Times." 

What are the best Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes? Do you like when Kumar said in all seriousness, "The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally"? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Vote for your top Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list.

  • Plus
    Photo: user uploaded image

    [after Harold has been placed in a cell with Tarik Jackson]
    Harold: So, what are you in here for?
    Tarik: For bein' Black.
    Harold: Seriously?
    Tarik: I am serious. Wanna know what happened?
    [Harold nods]
    Tarik: I was walkin' out of a Barnes and Noble, and the cop stops me. Now, evidently, a Black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months". So he starts beatin' me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.
    Harold: Holy shit. What'd you do?
    Tarik: I kept sayin': "I understand I'm under arrest. Now, please stop beatin' me!".
    Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.
    Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, Black, can't dance, and I have 2 gay fathers. People have been messin' with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago that there's no sense gettin' all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.

  • Harold: The universe tends to unfold as it should.
    Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?
  • We'd Go Get Some Burgers
    Photo: user uploaded image
    [cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
    Kumar: [from inside a heating duct at the police station, where Harold is in jail] Rold? Is that you?
    Harold: Kumar?
    Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
    Harold: What the hell are you doing?
    Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
    Harold: Jesus Christ, what'd you do that for?!
    Kumar: I'm fucking starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.
  • Kumar: [sniffs] Hey, what's that smell?
    Harold: What smell? Kumar.
    Kumar: [starts sniffing like a crazed bloodhound, and then sees a huge bag of marijuana, his eyes widen]
    Harold: Hey Kumar! Kumar! Where are you--?
    [Kumar rushes to the bag of marijuana]
    Harold: Kumar! Still in jail, asshole! Come here!