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The Best Mallrats Quotes

Updated June 13, 2018 9.9k views46 items

Mallrats quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from Mallrats, as determined by you and your votes. Released on October 20, 1995, Mallrats was the second film in Kevin Smith's View Askewniverse series following 1994's Clerks. In Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob of course appear, supporting the main characters of Brodie Bruce and T.S. Quint, who try and deal with their individual breakups with their girlfriends (on the same day). Mallrats starred Jeremy London, Jason Lee, and Shannon Doherty.  

What are the best Mallrats quotes? Do you like Brodie's "The usual vault rules apply: Touch not, lest ye be touched."? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Vote for your top Mallrats quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list.

  • Brodie: Listen to the sound of defeat in your voice!
    T.S.: That might have something to do with the fact that I've been defeated
    • [Brodie picks up a controller and continues a paused video game]
      Rene: What the hell are you doing?
      Brodie: Finishing my game.
      Rene: No, you promised me breakfast.
      Brodie: Breakfast? Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only in the middle of the second period and I'm running 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.
      • T.S.: What? Do you know that kid or something?
        Brodie: I hope his pants get caught and a bloodbath ensues!
        T.S.: What is with you today?
        Brodie: Don't get me wrong, I don't wish the kid harm, but his mother should suffer that horrific ordeal so she'll learn how to manage her child!
        T.S.: Harsh lesson, don't you think?
        Brodie: Man, there's not a year that goes by--not a year--that I don't read about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could've easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!
        • Brodie: That kid is back on the escalator again!
          T.S.: Leave it alone!
          Brodie: What?!