12 voters

The Best Meet the Parents Quotes

Updated February 22, 2019 0 votes 12 voters

The best Meet the Parents  quotes make you realize how great the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while. Let's rank the greatest quotes from Meet the Parents, with the help of your votes. Starring Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller, Meet the Parents was directed by Jay Roach and released in 2000.

What is your favorite Meet the Parents quote? One memorable line was when Jack said, "So what if he passed some test? He's still not good for Pam!" Another great line from Meet the Parents is, "I love your daughter, Jack. I love her more than anything. But frankly, sir, I'm a little terrified of being your son-in-law. This whole weekend has given me a lot of doubts...about whether or not I could even survive in your family. I think you've got some serious issues," spoken by Greg.

Vote up your top Meet the Parents quotes, regardless of which character they come from.

  • 1

    You Cannot

    Jack: Let me ask you a question, Greg. Let's just say you have kids... and you wanna get out of the house, spend a night on the town. So, you hire a baby-sitter, someone you think you can trust. References, work experience — it all checks out fine. But then how do you really know for certain... that your loved ones are safe with this stranger? I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?
    Greg: Sure, I think so.
    Jack: No. The answer is, you cannot.


    Agree or disagree?
  • 2

    Day By Day

    Jack: Greg, would you like to say grace?
    Pam: Oh, uh, well, Greg's Jewish, Dad. You know that.
    Jack: You're telling me Jews don't pray, honey? [to Greg] Unless you have some objection.
    Greg: No, no, no, no, I'd love to. Pam, come on, it's not like I'm a rabbi or something. I've said grace at many a dinner table.
    Pam: Okay.
    Greg: O dear God, thank You. You are such a good God to us, a kind and gentle... and accommodating God. And we thank You, O sweet, sweet Lord of hosts... for the... smorgasbord... You have so aptly lain at our table this day... and each day... by day. Day by day by day. O dear Lord, three things we pray. To love Thee more dearly. To see Thee more clearly. To follow Thee more nearly... day by day... by day. Amen. Amen.


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  • 3

    So Much Information

    So Much Information
    Photo: user uploaded image

    Dina: Oh, honey, why don't you read Greg your poem?
    Jack: Oh, no, he doesn't want to hear that.
    Greg: What? No! What... what... what poem?
    Dina: You see, when Jack had to retire... for health reasons...
    Jack: That's a bunch of malarkey. Honey, I'm fine.
    Dina: The doctor thought it would be therapeutic if he... sort of expressed his emotions in an artistic way. Honey, you wrote the most beautiful poem about your mother.
    Pam: Please, we really wanna hear it.
    Greg: Poem, poem. Please!
    Jack: Oh, all right. It's a work in progress. I'm still not happy with it. As soon as it's ready, then I am going to glaze it onto a plate... and put it next to the urn.
    Greg: Nice.
    Dina: It's very special.
    Jack: "My Mother," by Jack Byrnes. You gave me life, you gave me milk, you gave me courage. Your name was Angela, the angel from heaven. But you were also an angel of God, and He needed you, too. Selfishly, I tried to keep you here... while the cancer ate away your organs... like an unstoppable rebel force. But I couldn't save you, and I shall see your face... nevermore, nevermore, nevermore, until we meet... in heaven.
    Pam: Daddy, that's beautiful.
    Dina: It always gets me.
    Greg: Amazing. So... so.. so much love, yet also so much information.


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  • 4

    Have You Ever

    Jack: Have you ever...watched...pornographic...videos?
    Greg: No.


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