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The Best Muppet Treasure Island Quotes

Updated January 25, 2019 1.4k views14 items

The best Muppet Treasure Island quotes make you realize how funny the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while. Children who grew up in the '90s will remember the musical comedy fondly, but it actually still holds up today. Let's rank the greatest quotes from Muppet Treasure Island, with the help of your votes. Starring Kevin Bishop and Tim Curry, Muppet Treasure Island was directed by Brian Henson and released in 1996.

What is your favorite Muppet Treasure Island quote? One memorable line was when Benjamina Gunn says, "No More Ms. Nice Guy. No one maroons me and gets away with it!" Another great line from Muppet Treasure Island is "Gold and blood – they were Flint's trademarks. He'd leave both behind him, that day," spoken by Billy Bones.

Vote up your top Muppet Treasure Island quotes, regardless of which characters they come from.

  • Photo: user uploaded image

    To Have This

    Blind Pew: Aha, Billy Bones! It's me, Blind Pew! I know you're here, Billy. Ya sniveling coward!
    Rizzo: It's some kind of blind fiend!
    Gonzo: I believe they prefer 'visually challenged fiend'.
    Blind Pew: I heard that! There's someone here! No? Over here? Ah, over here! Aha, Billy Bones! I'd know that scurvy mug of yours anywhere.
    Jim Hawkins: Excuse me sir, but the bar's closed--
    Blind Pew: Ah! Mmm. Aha, a pretty little girl is it? Yes. Take me to Billy Bones, my pet.
    Jim Hawkins: You've come to the wrong place. There's no Billy Bones here, and I'm not a girl.
    Blind Pew: Oh, I may be visually challenged, but I can see you're lying!
    Blind Pew: Good evening, Bill. I know it's you. Yes, you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Just take it all for yourself, and leave your shipmates with nothing. We're not pleased with that, Bill, not at all. We want you... to have this!

  • 6

    Roll Call

    Mr. Arrow: Roll call! Long John Silver?
    Long John Silver: Aye aye, sir!
    Mr. Arrow: Short Stack Stevens?
    Short-stack Stevens: Aye!
    Mr. Arrow: One-eyed Jack?
    One-eyed Jack: Aye.
    Mr. Arrow: Black-eyed Pea?
    Black-eyed Pea: Here.
    Mr. Arrow: Walleyed Pike!
    Walleyed Pike: Aye.
    Mr. Arrow: Polly Lobster!
    Mr. Arrow: Mad Monte!
    Mad Monte: Aye.
    Mr. Arrow: Sweetums.
    Sweetums: AYE.
    Mr. Arrow: ...Old Tom.
    Old Tom: Aye aye.
    Mr. Arrow: Real Old Tom.
    Real Old Tom: Aye!
    Mr. Arrow: Dead Tom.
    Dead Tom: Aye aye!!
    Gonzo: Cool!
    Mr. Arrow: ...Clueless Morgan!
    Clueless Morgan: Huh?
    Mr. Arrow: Headless Bill! ...Headless Bill!
    Mr. Arrow: Big Fat Ugly Bug-Faced Baby-Eating O'Brien?
    Woman:  Aye.
    Mr. Arrow: Angel Marie.
    Angel Marie: Aye. Aye.
    Captain Smollett: Hmm... hmm... Gentlemen, may I see you in my cabin? Immediately?


  • Photo: user uploaded image

    No More Ms. Nice Guy

    Benjamina Gunn: All right. No More Ms. Nice Guy. No one maroons me and gets away with it!
  • 8

    You And Your Hobbies

    Rizzo: What's wrong?
    Gonzo: It just feels so weird.
    Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?
    Gonzo: Yeah, that... and my pants are filled with starfish.
    Rizzo: You and your hobbies.