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The Best 'My Cousin Vinny' Quotes

Updated May 7, 2020 407 votes 187 voters 49.2k views21 items

My Cousin Vinny quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from the comedy My Cousin Vinny as determined by you and your votes. Directed by Jonathan Lynn, the film centers on a New York lawyer (who recently, finally, passed the bar exam) who travels to rural Alabama to defend his cousin and his friend who are on trial for murder. Released on March 13, 1992, the tagline quote for My Cousin Vinny was "A Comedy of Trial and Error." My Cousin Vinny starred Joe Pesci as Vinny and Marisa Tomei as Mona Lisa Vito; Tomei won the 1993 Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal. Fred Gwynne was also memorable as the judge in My Cousin Vinny.

What are the best My Cousin Vinny quotes? Do you like Mona Lisa Vito's testimony: "The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!"? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Then you can even peek behind the scenes to discover how the legendary "two yutes" line came to be.

The film's funny quotes, dramatic quotes, poignant quotes, and more. Vote for your top My Cousin Vinny quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list.

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  • Video: YouTube
    Vinny: What's the matter with you?
    Mona Lisa: I don't know.
    Vinny: You're acting like you're nervous or something.
    Mona Lisa: Well, yeah, I am.
    Vinny: What are you nervous about? I'm the one that's under the gun here. Trial starts tomorrow.
    Mona Lisa: You wanna know what I'm nervous about? I'll tell you what I'm nervous about. I am in the dark here with all this legal crap. I have no idea what's going on. All I know is that you're screwing up and I can't help.
    Vinny: You left me a little camera, didn't you?
    Mona Lisa: Oh, Vinny! I'm watching you go down in flames, and you're bringing me with you, and I can't do anything about it!
    Vinny: And?
    Mona Lisa: Well, I hate to bring it up because I know you've got enough pressure on you already. But, we agreed to get married as soon as you won your first case. Meanwhile, ten years later, my niece, the daughter of my sister is getting married. My biological clock is (stamps foot three times) ticking like this, and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married!
    Vinny: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail, an idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars, slaughtered pigs, giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, and a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids, not to mention your (stamps foot three times) biological clock; my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more shit we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case?! (Stares upward to indicate him thinking of anything else) Is it possible?! (looks up again)
    Mona Lisa: Maybe it was a bad time to bring it up.
  • Video: YouTube

    Mona Lisa Vito: The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!Vinny Gambini: And why not? What is positraction?Mona Lisa Vito: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc]Vinny Gambini: Is that it?Mona Lisa Vito: No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.Vinny Gambini: And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?Mona Lisa Vito: They were!Vinny Gambini: Thank you, Ms. Vito. No more questions. Thank you very, very much.[kissing her hands]Vinny Gambini: You've been a lovely, lovely witness.

  • Video: YouTube
    Vinny: Is it possible that the two youts--
    Judge Haller: Uh, the two what? Uh, uh, what was that word?
    Vinny: Uh, what word?
    Judge Haller: Two what?
    Vinny: What?
    Judge Haller: Did you say "yutes"?
    Vinny: Yeah, two youts.
    Judge Haller: What is a yute?
    Vinny: Oh, excuse me, Your Honor, two youths.
  • Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
    Vinny: Ms. Vito, you're supposed to be some kinda expert in automobiles, is that correct? Is that correct?
    Judge Haller: Would you please answer the counselor's question?
    Lisa: No, I hate him.
    Vinny: Your Honor, may I ask your permission to treat Ms Veto as a hostile witness?
    Mona Lisa: You think I'm hostile now? Wait till you see me tonight.
    Judge Haller: Do you two know each other?
    Vinny: Yeah, she's my fiancée.
    Judge Haller: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.