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The Best Mystery Men Quotes

Updated June 13, 2018 3.5k views35 items

Mystery Men quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from the superhero comedy Mystery Men as determined by you and your votes. Directed by Kinka Usher, Mystery Men told the story of a group of superheroes blessed with less-than-awesome powers; they are nevertheless called in to do as superheroes do. Released on August 6, 1999, the tagline for Mystery Men was "They're not your average superheroes."

What are the best Mystery Men quotes? Do you like The Sphinx's line, "He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions"? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Vote for your top Mystery Men quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list.

  • Vic the publicist: I think right now we should focus on the positive. Tonight was good.
    Captain Amazing: Yeah - you think so? 'Cause I was worried it was, um, I don't know... PATHETIC! "Amazing triumphs at a nursing home"? That's great copy, Vic.
    Vic: Look, I'm a publicist, not a magician. You want big news, you have to have big fights. A superhero needs a supervillain. And thanks to you, we've got none left.
    Captain Amazing: Then get... the... Death Man!
    Vic: Death Man is dead.
    Captain Amazing: Okay — Father Doom.
    Vic: Life without parole. Apocalypto's doing fifty years. Armagezzmo's in exile. Baron von Chaos got the chair —
    Captain Amazing: Really?
    Vic: Casanova Frankenstein is locked up in a nut-house.
    Captain Amazing: Casanova Frankenstein - now there was a supervillain! You know, he just... he's got those eyes, you know? I can't do it, but... and that voice! Such pure evil! The battles we used to have — extraordinary!
    Vic: "Used to." That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."
  • [When Mr. Furious suggests they employ a publicist]
    The Shoveler: What are we gonna publicise, Roy? The fact that we get our butts kicked? A lot?
    Mr. Furious: [Annoyed] Well, maybe if you didn't smack me in the face with a shovel every time we went out, we'd have a few more victories to brag about.
    Shoveler: All right now, I'm sorry about that. I just have a tendency to lose my concentration when I've got a salad fork stuck in my rear end.
    Blue Raja: Oh, oh — I get it! So your shovel in his face is my fault?
    Shoveler: You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.
    Mr. Furious: Yeah, what was up with that?
    Blue Raja: I-I, I'm embarrassed about that. I thought it was a fork.
    Shoveler: You're the master of cutlery. You couldn't throw a knife sometimes when someone's trying to kill me?
    Blue Raja: No, I can't! You couldn't, ah, use a rake sometimes?
    Shoveler: No. I'm the Shoveler.
    Blue Raja: Well, I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man, I'm not Knifey Boy — I'm the Blue Raja.
    Mr. Furious: Yeah, that's another thing.
    Blue Raja: [Defensive] What?
    Mr. Furious: Well, you could work a little blue into the uniform somewhere. I mean you've got green, you've got this little flowery thing going on, but it's like everything but blue.
    Blue Raja: Well, if we could just step out of our literal minds, just for a moment.
  • The Shoveler: Oh yeah, well, maybe if we had a billionaire benefactor like Lance Hunt, then we could afford some advertising.
    Mr. Furious: I think that's because Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing.
    Blue Raja: Oh, here we go.
    Shoveler: Oh, don't start that again! Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.
    Mr. Furious: [Long-suffering] He takes them off when he transforms.
    Shoveler: That doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't be able to see!
  • Mr. Furious: Do you see what I see?
    Shoveler: It's Tony C!
    Blue Raja: And Tony P, leader of the Disco Boys! But what, pray tell, would he be doing back in town?
    Mr. Furious: Maybe it's time to do some following to find out.