Nailing your Real Housewives intro tagline is a lot like sticking a landing at the Olympics: whether or not you make the mark, the internet will ensure no one ever forgets the results. To qualify among the very best Real Housewives taglines of all time, a housewife needs to meet a certain criteria, a criteria that varies depending on said housewife's own level of fame and what people associate with it. For example, Theresa Guidice including table flips in her Housewives tagline qualifies as a bullseye. Few come close to the self-awareness of D.C.'s Cat Ommanney, who accurately predicted, whether she intended to or not, that her installment would not last. But not all of the best Housewives taglines qualify as quality remarks; as you know, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes. Some of these Real Housewives taglines inexplicably work just because of how bad they are, such as OC housewife Lauri's astute observation that living in wealth is in fact easier than poverty.
To truly ace your Real Housewives intro, take a queue from veterans Lisa Vanderpump and Carole Radziwill, who routinely decimate their costars in the equivalent of 140 characters or less.
I'm Passionate About Dogs, Just Not Crazy About B*tches
Throw Me To The Wolves And I Shall Return Leading The Pack
The Crown Is Heavy, Darlings, So Just Leave It Where It Belongs