The Best 'Simpsons' Gags 

Updated April 22, 2019 6.5k votes 1.4k voters 264.2k views 19 items

There are as many great Simpsons gags as there are cats for the Crazy Cat Lady to throw at you. And so I turn to the internet (I think she's talking to you) for your greatest of all time. I am starting the list with these... and, really, I almost can't rank them... it's like picking which of your children you love more.

Vote! (BTW, Simpsons clips are taken down from YouTube all the time by Fox.)

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Mr. Thompson
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Video: YouTube

Episode: Cape Feare

The FBI is coaching Homer on his new identity for when he goes into the witness protection program.

FBI Man #1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson, at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit, hmm? So when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" you say "Hi."
Homer: Check!
FBI Man #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[Homer stares blankly]
FBI Man #1: [pauses] Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.
Homer: I gotcha!
FBI Man #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
[again Homer stares blankly, FBI men stare at each other]
[hours pass by]
FBI Man #1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
Homer: No problem.
FBI Man #1: [stepping hard on Homer's foot] Hello, Mr. Thompson.
Homer: [stares blankly again for a few seconds, whispers to the FBI man next to him] I think he's talking to you.

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Is It About My Cube?
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Video: YouTube

Episode: Homer the Smithers

Homer Simpson: Okay Mr. Burns Here are your messages: "You have 30 minutes to move your car." "You have 10 minutes to move your car." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have 30 minutes to move your cube." [phone rings, Homer answers] Hello?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?

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The Vending Machines
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Video: YouTube

Episode: Marge on the Lam

Homer gets his hands trapped in two vending machines in the plant after work hours. After being trapped for hours, firemen and repairmen arrive.

Repairman 1: Homer, this... this is never easy to say. I'm going to have to saw your arms off.
[brandishes a buzzsaw]
Homer: They'll grow back, right?
Repairman 1: Oh... yeah.
Homer: Whew!
Repairman 2: Homer, are you just holding onto the can?
Homer: Your point being...?
[Homer walks out of the plant to the sound of laughing, then runs away]

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The Big Sandwich
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Video: YouTube

Episode: Selma's Choice

After noting that Homer seems horribly ill, Marge asks Homer if he's been eating a certain sandwich. Flashback to the company picnic, where a large submarine lies on a table. Carl talks to Homer.

Carl: We hardly made a dent in that 10-foot hoagie.
Homer: I'll give it a good home.
[Homer eats the sandwich in front of the TV]
Marge: You've been eating that sandwich for over a week. I think the mayonnaise is starting to turn.
Homer: Two more feet, and I can fit it in the fridge.
[Marge walks up to Homer with a vaguely blue-green sandwich-looking shape]
Marge: Homer, I found this behind the radiator. I really think you should throw it away.
Homer: Suggestion noted.
[Marge leaves, Homer takes a big bite]
[later, after he's been forced to throw it in the trash outside...]
Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.
Marge: Are you going to eat it?
Homer: [pause] Yes.

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