The Best The 40 Year-Old Virgin Quotes

The 40 Year-Old Virgin quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. These are some of the best quotes from the comedy The 40 Year-Old Virgin as determined by you and your votes. Directed by Judd Apatow, The 40 Year-Old Virgin starred Steve Carell (who also co-wrote the screenplay) as a man ready to finally become intimate with another person. Released in theaters on August 19, 2005, the tagline for The 40 Year-Old Virgin was "Better Late Than Never."

What are the best The 40 Year-Old Virgin quotes? Do you like Andy Stitzer's matter-of-fact line, "I'm 40"? Or do you like some of the lesser known lines from the film? Let it be known. Vote for your top The 40 Year-Old Virgin quotes and watch them rise to the top of the list.

  • Ho Fo' Sho
    Photo: user uploaded image

    Ho Fo' Sho

    Jill: Are you Andy?
    Andy: Uhh, yeah.
    Jill: Is this yours? Did you write this stuff?
    Jay: My girlfriend Jill found your speed dating card..
    Andy: Oh-h-h, yeah, right. God, I've been looking for that speed dating card; thank you so much for bringing it to me.
    Jill: So you actually wrote that one girl looked like she was "hurtin' for a squirtin'"?
    Andy: Umm, yeah, "hurtin' for a squirtin'". Yeah, I wrote that.
    Jill: Oh, so you wrote, "ho fo' sho'"?
    Andy: Yeah, I remember that girl, she was a ho... for show.
    Jill: You are never gonna meet anyone with that kind of mentality about women, you sick son of a bitch!
    Andy: Who the--Who the fuck are you to put me on trial? I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, all right, and stop with the inquisition?
    Jill: That's how you talk?
    Andy: You know what I don't have to answer to you, you ain't my bitch. Know what I sayin'? So, shit, man, fuck it!
    Jill: You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert.
    Jay: I don't hang out with him! I work with him, and that's it! I tried to introduce him to a few nice people, he made a fool of himself, I don't mess with him baby. That's not me.
    Andy: You should keep your ho on a leash.
    Jay: Oh, bro I can't let you talk. I can't let you be talking to my woman that way, dawg.
    Andy: Hey, hey, hey, bitches is runnin' wild, man.
  • 2

    It's A Mentos

    Trish: What is this, your roofie, your date drug?
    Andy: It's a Mentos. They're the fresh-maker.
  • She's No Jack Palance
    Photo: user uploaded image

    She's No Jack Palance

    Andy: She has three kids and one of her kids has a kid.
    [Cal starts coughing on his marijuana]
    Andy: You all right?
    Cal: Did you just say she has three kids, one of whom has a kid?
    Andy: Yeah.
    Cal: So, so she's a grandma.
    Andy: No.
    Cal: I'm not a doctor or anything like that but she's a fucking grandma.
    Andy: Yeah, whatever, you know.
    Cal: She's the hottest grandma I ever saw.
    Andy: Yeah, she is. She's a hot grandma!
    Cal: That's a good-looking grandma. My grandma looks like Jack Palance.
    Andy: Well, she's no Jack Palance.
    Cal: No. If Jack Palance looked like that lady, I would want to fuck Jack Palance right now.
  • 4

    You Want A Slurpee?

    Jay: I'm sick of you poaching my customers.
    Mooj: I'm sick of your cry baby bullshit.
    Jay: You wanna take this shit outside? Just take it outside and squash it?
    Mooj: Let's stay inside, so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I can't return it until it has spilled blood.
    Jay: Look, listen to me. You are fucking with the wrong nigger.
    Mooj: Hey! You're fucking with the wrong sand-nigger, okay?
    Jay: Dude, I will hang your old ass by your turban.
    Mooj: Turban now? Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, do you want a Slurpee? You want a Slurpee?" Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay?! Okay?!